Photo A.M. Moscoso

I haven’t done the tree thing for awhile.

This year I did it and do you know what feeling came over me as I started to decorate it?

Stringing lights is a punishment job. It’s like the tree’s revenge on you for taking it’s life. It’s tedious, it’s boring, it’s just POINTLESS. Around and around you go and then the lights are up and you don’t get a medal for a job well done. Everyone in the WORLD gets a participation award for doing stuff.

Is there one for stringing lights?

No there is not.

To make it worse I have a fake tree and I didn’t even get that Christmas tree smell on my hands. My hands smelled like plastic.

Oh JOY.

Good thing I wasn’t listening to the Trans Siberian Orchestra. I may have been swept up in the music and just pitched the tree with the light string from Hell over my deck to the dark grounds below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9wD5qnq_eo

Eventually I got the lights up and I got the decorations on and as I stood there wondering who I could bribe to take it down and pack it away after Christmas my dog, Hamish Macbeth, sniffed the tree, his tail went crazy- when he’s really happy he spins his tail in circles and then he licked a few ornaments which ‘accidently’ ended up in his mouth and after he spit them back out into my hand he stretched out next to the Tree That Almost Wasn’t and took a little nap:

Photo A.M. Moscoso

In fact, he seems to like the tree. He camps out there with his toys and when I come home at night he runs from it to me, like he’s showing me this cool thing that showed up one day and isn’t it great?

” It’s still here! ” I think Hamish is saying.

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

I’m not counting down the days until the Tree comes down, I’m not thinking about bribing anyone to take it down after Christmas.

I’m thinking my dog loves this thing- and I’m wondering how he will feel when it’s gone.

I wish I could explain to him we’ll have another one next year.

With lights. Lots of lights.

Darn it.

amm