RDP Friday: Functional

Source – @3am.horrors on Instagram

I struggle with each year to enjoy the Christmas season.

I used to have a good time and I really threw myself into the entire experience but life is life and when a couple of toxic people burn you life to the ground, it’s hard to jump up and say, ” ho, ho, ho and Merry Christmas y’all!”

I wish I could say I was a stronger person and could rise about the ruins they created, but I haven’t. It’s a struggle. But hey, what’s one more struggle when you’re already fighting the tide?

So.

When I put up my tree, I decorate it with grim determination,  but I put it up.

When I listen to Christmas music the first thought that pops into my head is, ” I really used to l like this song. ” I tell that little thought that it had it’s moment in the Sun and I turn the music up louder.

When someone wishes me a Merry Christmas I say to myself, ” From your lips to Charles’ Dickens ears ” – no snark, I really think and MEAN that.

I’m not sure if this process of mine means I’ve come up with a solid and functional plan to take back a part of my life that used to bring me a lot of joy, or if I should just pack it in.

I’m really not sure but I guess I’ll just keep moving forward and see where I end up.