Hamish at Christmas Time

Hamish Macbeth Christmas 2015
Hamish Macbeth
Christmas 2015

Hamish is my little Chocolate Lab- he just turned a year old in July.

This is his second Christmas and the present he is holding is from my Sister and her family.

Funny thing, he loves to eat paper and go through my purse and open packages.

Except for his Christmas present, he didn’t want to tear it open. He carried it around and when I tore it open for him he looked confused. If he had a squirt bottle, I’d have caught a blast of water from it.

My little Chocolate Kiss- he’s made my little ray of sunshine.

She’s Joking, Right?

:::Holidailies Prompt:::

If you could be a gift for anyone, what would you be, and who would you be given to?

I believe that when the year ends- and yes it IS just a date on the calendar we can use that date to draw a line in the sand.

Today is a new day and we can start the New Year a fresh while saying goodbye to the old year.

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In celebrating that, I would like to be the following gift and I would like to give myself to every son of a bitch who brought a second of pain or despair to my life over 2015.

I  truly want to gift anyone whom I had to shut up for when they spewed a bunch of babble I don’t agree with because I’m polite and don’t see any reason to challenge your belief system.

I want to give something special to my acquaintances who buried me in lame psycho babble and one-sided conversations where I couldn’t get a word in edgewise because what was being said AT me was far more profound than anything I could ever come up with in my own head.

I know. Strange right? To give a gift to people like that?

Hey  God does it all the time.

It’s called a smite…or is it smote.

Anyway, I got the idea from him.

So here it is:

I would like to be a hideous black eye.

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 I would like to show up on some faces on Christmas Eve and sit there festering away until New Year’s Day.

That way we could spend some quality time discussing how we can both be better people and become a credit to the human race.

Ha.

I’m just kidding about that part.

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No, I just want to sit on someone’s eye and look awful and make people stare and wonder what the Hell is wrong with you- which is something I should have said a few times but didn’t.

Being a vicious black eye is my way of making up for that.

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I know, this is a heck of a thing to say on Christmas Eve.

But it IS Christmas Eve.

I want to give something heartfelt and this is it.

A black eye.

A scary black eye that talks to you and burrows its way into your brain and talks and talks and talks and never shuts the heck up.

Trust me. You’ll live through it.

I have.

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The rest of you get gift cards, candy and hugs.

Merry Christmas.

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There’s A Monster Under My Bed…YAY!

:::Holidailies Prompt:::

Not a creature was stirring …

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When I was little I used to feel sorry for the monsters in horror  movies.

If people weren’t trying to shoot them, they were burning them or pushing them off of cliffs.

So every Christmas Eve I would sneak treats and food into my room, put them on a plate and shove it under my bed because duh, that’s where monsters hide.

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We used to have this little dog Blackie and one Christmas my Mom found him in my room halfway under the bed and from the sounds of it he was busy chewing on something.

She pulled him out and his face was smeared with gravy and frosting. He was chewing on a roll of Lifesavers candies from my Lifesavers Christmas Storybook.

He got loose and dove back under the bed.

She pulled him out again and this time he was dragging the plate with him.

I think most of the turkey was gone, but there was still a lot of goodies on the goodie plate.

Too bad Mom took it, there was still enough on that plate for a couple of monsters and a dog.

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My Dad saw my Mom carrying the goodie plate to the garbage bin under the sink and he asked, ” What the hell was that mess.”

My Mom told him where she found it.

I was right behind her giving her the evil eye the entire time.

” Are you crazy?” He asked my six year old self ” what did you do that for?”

I glared at him too and stomped off.

They wouldn’t understand I thought. But had I told them I was leaving food for the Wolfman and the Mummy they probably would have understood.

This is why:

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One Christmas I saw my Mom in the kitchen cutting up Turkey and Ham that she had just taken off of the serving platter. She cut it up and mixed in with our dog’s regular dried food.

When I saw her doing that I was surprised.

She wasn’t a pet person for the most part.

I asked her outright why was she giving the dog so much turkey and ham and she said, ” Because it’s their Christmas too.”

We’ve had several dogs over the years and she still does that.

Now days I’m willing to I will bet  the Wolfman would have benefitted from her generosity too.

Apparently this dog named Moose, who played the wolf that bites Lawrence Talbot, totally became buddies with Lon Chaney Jr. on the set of The Wolf Man and followed him around wherever he went.

Apparently this dog named Moose, who played the wolf that bites Lawrence Talbot, totally became buddies with Lon Chaney Jr. on the set of The Wolf Man and followed him around wherever he went.

So now I’m 51, I still love my Monsters and at Christmas I have this little plate of treats that I will set up on a high shelf where the dog can’t get it.

I’m a little disappointed when the treats are there the next day, because I was sure, I was positive that the creatures were stirring in my house.

Maybe next Christmas I think as I take the treats down from the shelf.

And then I say what I’ve been saying since I was five years old:

Maybe next year.

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