Analia’s Mirrors

There is legend

about a girl named

Analia

who was not sane-

and one day her family sent her away to be cured

at a hospital

on a road

out in the middle of nowhere.

 

There were bars on all of the windows.

The Doctors

who were not sane

locked her in a room full of mirrors

and the things that lived in Analia’s Brain

the things that drove her insane

went to live in the mirrors

where it was dark and quite and they didn’t have to listen to

Poor Analia’s Brain scream and scream and scream anymore.

 

One day

for no reason at all

the people died and the hospital died

and so did the things that hid under the beds

and in the closets.

 

Now Analia’s Mirrors hang from walls

in houses and libraries and shops and hotels

and

some are hanging in buildings with rats in the walls.

If by an unlucky

turn of fate

you find

one of the cool dark mirrors that hung in poor Analia’s room

in the hospital where the Doctors were not sane

and you press your ear to the glass

you can hear

something

moving around in there

and that something

that was never sane

used to live inside of

Poor Analia’s Brain

Jeremy Bentham’s Head Fell Off

Jeremy Bentham was an interesting guy who advocated for things like equal rights for women and the abolition of slavery.

Among the many other important things Jeremy Bentham accomplished I also learned that he had written into his Will that his body be preserved, stored in a cabinet and brought out for special board meetings.

Then one day his head, which was not preserved well…fell off. So they made a wax one and stuck his real head between his feet ( see picture above) .

Jeremy Bentham’s Head

I’m sorry to say I couldn’t have made this stuff up…

darn it.

Jeremy Bentham (26 February [O.S. 15 February 15] 1748) – June 6, 1832) was an English jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer. He was a political radical and a leading theorist in Anglo-American philosophy of law. He is best known as an early advocate of utilitarianism and fair treatment of animals who influenced the development of liberalism.

A Tale of Two Funeral Directors

Fandango’s One-Word Challenge: Myriad

 

Once someone asked me what was the strangest Funeral Home story I had ever heard was and given I’ve been in a lot of positions where I was told stories or been part of a conversations where people were more then willing to talk about all kinds of experiences they’ve had with the dead, cemeteries or funeral homes- this one is my favorite because I am a part of it.

 

Years and years ago, I think it was in the 1930’s a local funeral director left in the company hearse to, as it’s put in the business ‘ do a removal’.

He left in the late in the afternoon, and because it was around late October it was already getting dark and it was foggy. You could hardly see your hand in front of your face.

But there was no way this Funeral Director was going to leave a family in emotional distress with a the remains of a loved one cooling in their house so he made the drive.

He must have driven slow in the less then half light and the fog in his big black hearse. He must have  inched his way slowly around the road that ran above the icy river below.

When he got to the bridge that lead to his turn off his car was completely  swallowed by the fog. Still,  I imagine you could hear the tires working their way over the wooden bridge…

and then all you could hear was the river.

He never made it to the other side.

It was quite a mystery,

The Funeral Director who disappeared, hearse and all on the way to a call.

It made a great Halloween story.

However, like some great stories ( that don’t get turned into a franchise )  this one came to an end.

Years later they found the hearse and the funeral director and the empty coffin still waiting for the corpse the Funeral Director was supposed to pick up when he disappeared on that October afternoon.

Strange, or not so strange depending on your point of view  was where they found them.

They  found them in the river, almost directly under the bridge they were crossing over all those years ago.

I drove over that bridge several times in a hearse myself over seventy years later, I made  my last drive over it two years before they found the Funeral Director, The Hearse and The Empty Coffin.

When I think of The Funeral Director, I think of him in the drivers’s seat, his hands clutching the steering wheel, his head tilted  towards the surface of the water and  when I think about all those times I drove over him-

I hope his eyes were closed.