The skies turned black and then they spilt open and then it rained and it rained and it rained and then the streets flooded, it should have been a magical time for me but it wasn’t.
After the the skies got tired of raining an ocean upon us all, it snowed- in certain areas the flakes I was told were as big as your hand.
It snowed where I live, I know it was snowing only because someone sent me a text but I didn’t care. I didn’t even get up to look out the window.
It turned to rain again anyway.
I should be having a lot of feelings right now and I’m not.
Right now I should be going crazy because I forgot to buy enough gift wrapping paper, or I forgot something for roasting the turkey and sure, at this point I have two shopping days left and I work in downtown Seattle so really I should be going a little crazy but not overwhelmed.
This Christmas I will not be with my family or my friends.
I will cook anyway and we will be dropping by on each other to exchange gifts and food, but we won’t be hanging out together- we won’t be eating to much food or playing board games or playing Bingo for our stocking stuffer presents.
We won’t be telling ghost stories or playing with our dogs or trying to decide if we were going to go out the day after Christmas.
We won’t be listening to Christmas music or checking the weather reports to see if it was going to snow and complaining bitterly when it looks like it won’t be snowing.
Last night in my living room I stared at my tree and I decided to take it down Christmas Day.
That’s what I’ll be doing Christmas day.
Taking down my tree.
Maybe I will think about it this way, it’s not like we’re canceling Christmas Dinner. It’s not like Christmas isn’t going to happen.
It’s more like we’re all late for Dinner and what we need to do is keep things like our ideas and enthusiasm for the holidays safe and warm and vivid and alive until we all get there and can celebrate like we always do.