Depression

SCORE ONE FOR ME!

/ animar64 / 2 Comments

At the lowest point in my life

when my heart and my mind were completely shattered

and I spiraled into the worst case of depression I had ever been faced with-

I got a puppy.

He turned out to be this amazing dog that was adventurous , loved to meet new people and other animals. When he was faced with a challenge he took it on with gusto and when he didn’t exactly hit the mark- he didn’t care. He just had fun going for it.

He is one of the kindest souls to ever walk on this Earth and for the passed 11 years I have been honored to train and care for him.

He is my greatest accomplishment because at a time when one would think I couldn’t do much more then focus on getting through the day- I raised this guy.

Hamish Macbeth taught me that I had more going on for me then I realized.

 

Baby Hamish
2014

Hamish Macbeth 2020
Photo A.M. Moscoso

Hamish and Krampus
December 20th 2022
Photo: A..M. Moscoso

Kolchak, Darwin and Hamish.
Photo A..M. Moscoso-2014

Hamish Macbeth

My Face

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I started my anti-depressants last week and when I looked into the mirror my face was gone.

I know it’s the meds, but geeze the side effects are a pain- I know that this is temporary but I am SO BORED.

Doc said the side effects peak in the first two weeks and guess what- he was right. I just want my brain to cool down. I had no idea  how worn out I was.

amm

#Midjourney creations and styles by Irina Shamaeva

Famous Hamish

/ animar64 / 8 Comments

Hamish Macbeth
Photo P.C. Knapp

This is my dog, the world famous Hamish Macbeth.

If he could collect people, he would be in a hoarding situation and the city would probably have to step in and ‘help him’ care for his beloved pets.

I’m not kidding and I’m not exaggerating.

Hamish is really into humans. He thinks we are so cool and cute and lovable and when you look into his eyes you will see they are oozing with love for you.

He likes cats too. I mean REALLY likes them. My neighbor’s cat Lucy is his girlfriend and when they get together they groom each other- well, kiss and when he’s with Lucy I think he forgets the world around him. It’s really sweet to see.

He brings her toys too. But he takes them back. He loves her but I guess even the World Famous Hamish Macbeth has his limits.

Hamish and friend
by
A.M. Moscoso

This is me ( well, 2022 me ).

Me by Me
2022

I am not a people person. I’m not even that comfortable around people but I am courteous and I’m not mean spirited. To be honest sometimes after I am some social situations I feel like I’ve run a marathon and all I want to do is que up some Mozart or ELO and air out my brain.

Hamish Macbeth
Photo A.M. Moscoso

Now,because of Hamish Macbeth, I  now stop and talk to people on our walks and trips to the dog park.  I even have dinner parties and holiday parties because he enjoys them so much.

I have to be social and smile and mean it, because he will KNOW if I’m not into it and he will stare into my face and wag his tail until I lighten up and engage.

But when I think about it, it gives me joy to see my dog  so in love with people.

I guess at some level I’m glad that even though I may be a dark little cloud floating around a sunny blue sky my dog- The World Famous Hamish Macbeth is outgoing and engaging and loves people and life and the energy they give off.

My Counselor said that because I am the one constant presence in Hamish’s life and I do think he’s the best dog in the world and have loved him and shown him patience and kindness since he came home with me at 11 weeks of age, he’s grown up thinking people are pretty damn grand. So why wouldn’t Hamish now  think ALL people are great.

I pointed out that because Hamish is the constant in my life and he has shown me nothing but kindness and love and understanding his entire life and he thinks people are pretty damn grand and special, in all probability

I think I’m starting to think that too.

amm

Word of the Day Challenge:  Compersion

The Human Remains

/ animar64 / 7 Comments

RDP WEDNESDAY: RESIDUE

Photo A.M. Moscoso

There was a run of suicides on the tracks  my train uses last month- there was at least one a week.

Some people suggested that the inconsiderate jerks who threw themselves under the train should have stayed home and ‘eaten a bullet’.

My question is- which child in the video was the person on the tracks and which was the unfeeling ‘ let then eat a bullet ” child?

At what point did those people become so emotionally detached from their own sense of humanity that they allowed themselves to be torn apart by  a speeding train or would open their mouth and say without a care in the world for how it would say to a train car full of people that ‘ that  SOB should have stayed home and eaten a bullet, sorry your life sucks but I have things to do- I have a life. “

I know the person who ended their life has my sympathy- should the people who suggested that the deceased should have ‘eaten a bullet’ for the sake of the convenience of those around them have it too?

And if if I deny either of them my sympathy and caring what does that say about me? If I don’t care about myself or other people and I keep feeling that way,  do parts of my soul just die off until nothing is left except a brief residue of the better person that I could have been?

amm

As a side note in this video:  “Anorexic” is a medical term for a symptom, the loss of appetite and interest in food. It is not the same as “anorexia nervosa” which is a psychiatric disorder. In popular/lay use, people often say anorexia when what they are actually referring to is anorexia nervosa, which is where the apparent confusion comes from.