Enter Sheer Terror

I have been captured by anything  about Saturn ( maybe because my Great Grandmother was named Satunalia?) in a way that Mars- my most favorite planet ever does not. Something about that quiet giant triggers my imagination every single time I think about it.

Specifically, one of the things that always tugged at the dark side of my imagination was Cassini’s final trip to Saturn.

Cassini fought to keep it’s antenna turned to Earth so that it would be able to continue to transmit data until Saturn pulverized it. I learned little things like Cassini went into Safe Mode, that it was trying to correct it’s failing systems as it navigated into Saturn- so I know this is a leap but I’m a writer so that’s ok- but Cassini was fighting to stay- operational.

It was trying to figure out how to live.

My imagination runs wild at this- on one hand I am full aware that Cassini was built and programmed to do just that- solve problems and keep itself operational.

But I do that every single waking moment of my life, so I can relate.

In the mornings when I’m walking my dog, Hamish ( pre-dawn before I go to work ) I pull out my phone and pull up my Star Chart apps and I work out where the planets are and when I come across Saturn I’ll stay there for a bit, looking up into the sky and wonder-

What if Cassini  hadn’t been destroyed? What if it had survived? Would it have sent a message back saying ” Hey here’s some more cool data to add to the collection? ” Or would it have sent a message back saying ” Think I’ll be keeping my atoms in one place instead of letting them sail around Saturn until the Universe burns itself out. Later days Bitches. ”

Me. I know which message I would have sent back. But like I said we are talking  about a machine that was crafted, molded and programmed and it did what it was designed to do. But as we design these computers and robots I can’t see that these machines, which are extensions of ourselves, won’t eventually learn  what fear is.

And that thought really does scare me.

CASSINI’S ‘LAST DANCE’: A FINAL PORTRAIT AT SATURN In the early afternoon of 13 September 2017, the venerable and much-loved Cassini probe captured this final portrait of Saturn and its main ring system, before plummeting to fiery destruction in the planet’s hazy atmosphere just 48 hours later.

Cassini’s Grand Finale

Source: NASA/Jet Propulsion Laboratory-Caltech
Published: April 4, 2017

From The Floor Below

RDP Friday: NOISES

Photographer Unknown

There are noises coming from the room downstairs,

a man’s voice, a woman’s voice I can hear a dog growl and  I can hear it take a long

breath it before it barks once and then a second time and I can hear someone hiss, ”

Just be quiet.”

 

Then I hear a door slam shut and I hear the sound of a table or maybe a heavy chair

being dragged across the hardwood floor.

” Get out of the way ” one voice says  ” move- go over there and stay away from

the window.”

 

I am standing in the middle of my room, but I move away from the window and wonder

if now would be a good time to turn the radio on, but it hasn’t worked for years.

I can hear the woman asking what time it is and the dog growls and the man says, ” I’m

almost ready are you?”

 

” Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. ” she says.

The dog agrees with her.

 

I fall to the ground and press my ear to the floor.

I can hear them breathing down there.

I move, just a little and the floor sighs a little below me.

The dog barks again, the woman tells it to shush and the man calls out

for the spirits who haunt this place to make themselves known to them.

I tap one of my claws at a time and try to decide if I will,

after a few seconds  I decide should and I sink into the shadows

and make my way to the floors below.

The dog is howling now and after a few seconds so is the man and the woman.

My Kitchen

RDP Friday: IMP

Shadow, 1954
Boris Petrovich Sveshnikov ( 1928 – 1998 )

In my kitchen

under the floor

down in the basement with the treacherous stairs

A little face always scuttles away when it sees a light.

 

Sometimes it smiles

and sometimes it laughs

sometimes it sings

and gives me a fright

 

My Grandma named it Tippy

her Mother named it Sham

one night my Mother stomped on the floor

and named it’ Give Me Back My Hand’.

 

There is a little imp

that lives all alone downstairs

at least I think it’s alone, I prey it’s alone

It better hope  for it’s sake it is.

A Box Of Dolls

RDP Tuesday: TOYS

Photo A.M. Moscoso
New Orleans Historic Voodoo Museum 2012

On my last trip to New Orleans I bought some Voodoo Dolls.

They weren’t the scary kind of Voodoo Dolls- I mean they looked scary but their purpose was to ward off bad spirits and the kind of spirits that follow them.

I loved my dolls because shortly after I got them good things happened like I got the most amazing puppy ever, a couple of toxic people in my life crashed and burned and I even lost weight. I started to really write again.

And then I moved.

When I moved I put them in one box, labeled it and set it next to me on the car seat.

What happened next is the sort of thing that happens when you move- something gets lost or broken and in this case what was lost was my box of dolls.

I went back to my old place, I dug through the trash in case they had been tossed out. I unpacked very single box and even looked in places where my box of dolls could have been put in the haste of moving.

I am sad to say that the box never turned up and I still go through totes and containers that I’ve looked through a million times for the past three years to no avail.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to my box of dolls and then I remember, they were designed to ward off evil spirits that might choose to bedevil me and I can’t help but to think maybe they are off doing that right now as I write this.

After all, things have been going pretty good recently.

Pretty good indeedy.

New Orleans Historic Voodoo Museum
Photo A.M. Moscoso