How To Serve ( the ) Man

Inspired by the Word of the Day Challenge: Propitious

Photo A..M. Moscoso
Ripley’s Museum
Dells, Wisconsin

I’m excited about the movie ” Renfield ” for a number of reasons and NONE of them  include the fact that it’s a movie about Vampires.

In my Universe, Vampires are my least favorite Monsters. I mean, I read the book by Bram Stoker and I love Bela Lugosi as Dracula but I didn’t think they were cool until the movie ” What We Do In The Shadows ” came out.

In thinking about it, I think it was the entire Master and Slave thing that bothered me.  I liked the traditional vampires from old folklore where Vampires were sort of unhinged and went after their own families- which in itself is pretty vicious and horrifying ( your husband , your Mom your child wants to kill you- horrific ) and is really the ultimate betrayal that does shatter your heart and darkens your soul.

So, I am excited to see what ” Renfield ” is all about because in the trailer it looks like  ” Renfield ” is an allegory about people who are trapped in- pardon the twist here- dead end jobs- dead end relationships both of which are places where dead end lives are grown and then mowed over and mulched.

Given the world we are living in, the timing for this story being told is truly propitious.

So I will be taking in ‘Renfield’ and even if you aren’t into Vampires and slo-mo fight scenes, you might want to see it too.

You Said ” What? “

Inspired by the Daily Prompt: How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Still Life of Fish and Cat
Clara Peetersafter 1620

When you- or to put it bluntly- when I had a goal there was no shortage of people in my life to remind me to stay humble and reasonable and to not  BE be so ‘god damn selfish ‘ when anybody- and I do mean ANYBODY needed my undivided attention.

And let me tell you, I had so much help in the ‘becoming a better person in the being humble department’  that if you asked me for the last drop of blood in my veins I would give it to you because what have I DONE to deserve that last drop of blood in my veins when there are so many other people deserve it more then I?

In the end I became a bloodless corpse walking around with a gentle smile on my face but boy oh boy if you told me to jump or bark like a good girl I did.

But nothing good lasts forever.

Here’s the thing about putting your foot on somebody’s neck and pushing down on it when you want to remind them to not be ‘so selfish and to think of other people’-

they really start to believe they don’t matter and once they accept that the next step to believe is you don’t matter too and that well of darkness  that you helped people like me dig in their heads or their hearts  is bottomless and dark.

and you never know when you might fall into it one day.

Let me end this on a teensy up beat note.

When I cut away the deadwood in my life- and by that I mean people who brought NOTHING into my life except their wants, their desires and support for THEIR goals in life I found out I could write again. In fact I improved and this year I plan on taking it to the next level.

However, there are times though when I start to feel like I don’t need that lost drop  of blood in my veins and before I give it up, in my head me and that person who wants that tiny drop take a stroll through my head to where that bottomless well is and when we are done there I sit down and I start to write again.

“How a Braggart was Drowned in a Well”, Folio 33v from a Haft Paikar (Seven Portraits) of the Khamsa (Quintet) of Nizami of Ganja

Happy Bees

Word of the Day Challenge: REGRET

Tartini’s Dream by James Marshall, 1868

I regret

the doors that I did not slam shut

the windows that I closed when it was raining

I regret

the kind words that buzzed from my lips like happy honey bees

sweetening the world for everyone who patted me on the head and said ‘hello’

I regret

the minutes and seconds I  gave away, threw away like confetti on New Years Eve

I regret I didn’t keep  a single moment, a little sweetness for myself.

The 1511


It’s a fact.

If you are having a terrible , horrible nightmare and you cannot wake up you need to give yourself a good hard pinch.

I am not sure how that works because when I dream, I cannot feel pain but when I am running or screaming in my dreams I can feel the air rush out of my lungs and I will get winded. I will try with all of my might to howl and roar and cry in fear but I cannot make a sound.

No air, you see. That’s science.

I suppose you might be curious about those dreams of mine, the ones where I am running through streets coated with broken glass and cemeteries with crumbling tombstones and mausoleums with their gates torn from their hinges but we are here to discuss pinching yourself to wake yourself up from nightmares so let’s carry on.

I was riding the train home last night- it was the last train of the evening and I was sitting in my usual seat looking out the same gritty window that I always look out from and I tried, like I always do to keep to myself.

A lady in a green raincoat, slid into the seat in front of me.

After she put her purse to her side she dug her phone out and she tapped her ear.

After a few minutes she looked up from her phone. She looked right at me and then she looked back down and she began to tap and touch the little screen in her hand. But she tapped a little slower and I saw her hand shake just a tiny bit.

She looked up again and  this time when she looked at me, her phone  fell from her hand and landed in her lap.

I saw her put her now emptied right hand over her left and I saw her pinching herself, over and over again and after a few good hard pinches I was alone on the train racing through the night where the streets are lined with broken glass and mausoleums  with their gates torn from their hinges and above the doors and carved into the tombstones is one name.