I AmThe Passenger

I guess if I had to choose a song to describe what it’s like venturing out into a world where ‘essential’ workers ride almost empty trains and buses and wait for the crosswalk lights to change from Walk to Don’t Walk ( even though it really doesn’t matter now because the traffic is so light ) I’d choose this one by Iggy Pop.

What am I saying?

I have chosen it.

It’s called ” Passenger “

amm

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

The Passenger
Iggy Pop

I am a passenger
And I ride and I ride
I ride through the city’s backside
I see the stars come out of the sky
Yeah, they’re bright in a hollow sky
You know it looks so good tonight
I am the passenger
I stay under glass
I look through my window so bright
I see the stars come out tonight
I see the bright and hollow sky
Over the city’s ripped-back sky
And everything looks good tonight
Singin’ la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la
Get into the car
We’ll be the passenger
We’ll ride through the city tonight
See the city’s ripped backsides
We’ll see the bright and hollow sky
We’ll see the stars that shine so bright
The sky was made for us tonight
Oh, the passenger
How, how he rides
Oh, the passenger
He rides and he rides
He looks…

 

The Family Tree

Ragtag Daily Prompt Thursday: Countless Branches

I was visiting my son and his family in Wisconsin a few years ago and one of the places we stopped at ( of course ) was a cemetery.

A few weeks before I arrived there had been a storm and a few trees got knocked down and was the result spooky looking  even in the daylight.

amm

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

The Smelly Dog Park

Fandango’s Provocative Question #62 What activities have you cut from your life since this pandemic started that you DON’T really miss?

Today I was considering what I have not missed since the Coronavirus showed up and I had to modify certain aspects of my day to day life.

But to be honest I didn’t have to modify it a lot.

In fact there have been a few upsides to this situation:

For example- I get more leg room on the train so that’s a big plus and I don’t have to make chit chat with my fellow commuters because I would rather be reading, but I also know you can get sort of weird if you don’t interact with people. So I put the book down and engage.

Another plus- there isn’t a lot of pushing and shoving out there because of the six foot rule. So that is a change that I really like. I’m going to hate to see that one fall to the side when things get better.

So what did I have to give up that I  don’t regret?

Anything?

Think. Think Think.

Oh here’s one.

The Smelly Dog Park.

My dog’s favorite dog park is smelly. It’s not smelly for the reason you may be thinking.

It’s smelly because people like to smoke their weed and cigarettes’ there and you can smell the exhaust from the cars from the main road.

Its gross I hate it, but Hamish loves it because it used to be a kids playground and he likes to play on the slide.

So BC ( Before Coronavirus ) I would give in and take Hamish there because it made him happy.

But my joy that  The Smelly Dog Park is closed is short lived because it  will eventually re-open and I will go back to taking  Hamish there because he loves it and I’m a sap.

Until then, I’m loving this- just don’t tell Hamish.

Photo A.M. Moscoso

#FPQ

 

Fun Times In Coronaville

Photo by Alex Knight on Pexels.com

Now that there are not so many people around, I had no idea that there was so much space-plus the air smells better.

I went to the grocery store last night.

There were about six guys standing in front of the cooler where the beer is kept.

The six guys were having this deep conversation about the quality and cost of the beer- and then I realized what they were doing was figuring out how much each of them needed to get drunk and maybe a couple of more for after they sobered up.

Then they made their choice and grabbed a few cases.

So it took me a few minutes to realize they were doing the math because they didn’t want to hoard the beer and were only going to buy enough to get bombed on.

Seriously.

They wanted to leave enough for other people to get wasted.

Sometimes humanity brings a tear to my eye and sometimes humanity makes me wish that the cockroaches would step it up and take over the world already.

amm

Photo by Thgusstavo Santana on Pexels.com

Rush Hour in Coronaville

This is what the morning rush hour looks like now at the train station I use to get to Seattle.

Photo A.M. Moscoso

 

My Jeep was all by her lonesome in the lot we use during the work week- it’s usually almost full by the time we roll up.

Photo A,M. Moscoso

The platform is usually well stocked with commuters, but like toilet paper they were nowhere to be found.

Photo A,M. Moscoso

Everybody is staying at home with their toilet paper.

Almost everybody.

I’m not everybody.

amm

Photo A.M. Moscoso

The Tourists

Thursday Inspiration-Island

RDP: Looking Within

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Isolation- Social Distancing-anxiety and panic.

That is the state of the world right now Unless you’re a Millennial who thinks you are immune from Covid-19 and shouldn’t be punished with the rest of us or you politics are such that you’re willing- as a minister in Arkansas said of his congregation- most of them are willing to lick the floor to prove this Virus isn’t real” then your world went from big and limitless to your home, your car and Netflix.

Some of us are finding creative ways to fill  your days, sending out words of encouragement to our friends that you are making it and they will too.

We are all in this together.

But here’s the kicker.

Some of us, the ones who suffer from depression, who have trouble connecting to a world that is so big and so vast and so overwhelming that it feels like your in a box and that box gets smaller everyday- this world the one we are all in right now seems horribly familiar.

I’ve been in that unquiet world- off and on over the years.

I’ve been isolated. I have distanced myself from the people around me-this six foot distance thing was a snap for me to embrace because I had done it already. Anxiety and her brother Panic used to visit me often. I could be  watching TV sitting in my car, walking my dog and BOOM there they’d be.

Now  it feels  as if the world I had been living in inside of my head somehow found it’s way to the world around me and now it has a physical presence.

So here is the thing.

It’s been awhile since I’ve suffered from severe depression, but I remember how it felt.

Most important of all, I found ways to deal with Isolation.

That’s why when my friends are talking about struggling with this isolation, how they miss being connected to the world around them and the anxiety of not knowing when it will end, I am truly sympathetic. I really do feel your pain.

But this world doesn’t scare me- I’ve been to one almost exactly like it often and even though I haven’t been there for a few years I might find myself there again.

At that point people won’t be locked down in their homes, they’ll return to their lives and going to restaurants and they won’t be obsessing over toilet paper and who provides unattended delivery service.

As for me  I don’t have that luxury. I can end up back in this world upside down place- because sometimes my brain just fails me. Luckily for me, I usually find my way back so I can say for sure that it can be done.

Recently I have been going over a line from one of my favorite Movies- Barton Fink.

At the end of Barton Fink, his friend Charlie Meadows ( who has demons of his own-in fact I guess you could say he IS one ) turns to Barton and says before he walks down the hall  to his burning room:

Charlie Meadows : Take a look around this dump. You’re just a tourist with a typewriter, Barton. I live here.

 

People are isolated, they are feeling overwhelmed and they can look at the world around them but they can’t touch it.

What they don’t realize is that most of them will get to go back to their lives.

But I’m like Charlie, I’m not a tourist in this world.

I’ve  have room next to Charlie’s and sometimes, whether I want to or not- I go back there.

amm

 

 

On A Lonesome Train

Not to be overly dramatic, there were other people sitting in other cars on this morning’s train- but the fact is there are so few of us that it took no effort to find yourself alone inside of one.

And the Coronavirus rolls on.