It’s All Fun And Games Until…

The Fun Platform

If you were the new leader of your country and had the chance to transform something that’s currently an annoyance (or worse) into a very fun activity, what would it be? How would you go about the change, and why would you choose that particular thing?

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If I could change one thing, I’d make Election Season fun.

I’d go back to putting voting booths in Saloons- so I guess that means Hooters.

Or better yet Crispy Kremes.

And instead of debates, I’d have the candidates play darts  and do that race where you run with an egg on a spoon because from what I’ve seen that’s what it’s going to feel like they’re doing 99.9% of the time anyway.

Oh and if people start acting nasty to their friends or candidate shaming people who are running for office, I’d make them spend a week living as a homeless person.

I’m not sure why exactly, though I think it has something to do with learning what it’s liked to be shamed for just existing or not ‘acting right’.

Best of all, if you vote I’d give you more then a sticker.

I’d give out gift certificates for Pizza.

That’s right.

You vote and the machine spits out a coupon for a free pizza.

Sounds like fun doesn’t it?

The thing of it is,

If I were REALLY made leader of my own country there wouldn’t be elections and I sure as Hell wouldn’t give out free  pizza.

So cherish and protect what you have.

Respect it.

I could be in charge.

 And I’d treat my dog and cats better then you.

Count on it.

cookies

No. Mom. You Told That One?

Retrospectively Funny

Tell us about a situation that was not funny at all while it was happening, but that you now laugh about whenever you remember it.

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When my sons were little- they were were around eight and nine years old- they were into the toys and fads of the times.

Nintendo.

At least that’s all I remember them being into.

But when they branched out they managed to do it with my stuff or our family cat.

One Summer my youngest son wrapped our cat up in a baby blanket and was carrying him around the apartment complex and telling people this was his baby brother ” Joe “.

When Julio got tired of playing with ” Joe ” he leaned down and let him run off into the bushes. A few minutes later I get a call from a neighbor who is hysterical because she said she just saw my son throw  a baby under the bushes.

facepalm-Godzilla

But by far the most entertaining moment that wasn’t funny at the time was

THE TIME MY SONS READ A BOOK THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE

I love horror novels, and when my sons were little the biggest reason I didn’t want them pulling those books off my shelf was that some were 1st Edition hardcovers.

But of course they eventually did and what I learned later was that my middle son was reading one of them out loud to my youngest son when they went to bed at night.

They were apparently reading the Exorcist.

They were nine and eight at the time.

hmmm-ok-hi

One night me and Luis left our   boys with a sitter and went to the movies.

When we came home and she said they went to bed on time and went to sleep right away, hadn’t made a peep all evening  and right away the alarm bells went off and I went straight down the hall to their room.

I opened open the door and the door catches on something. I reach around and look down and it’s my copy of the Exorcist .

And there  fast asleep in their sleeping bags in the middle of the floor circled by their stuffed animals are my sons.

They’re wearing their bicycle helmets and and they’ve got their Nerf swords locked in their hands and sleeping with them is our cat who looks up at me and hisses.

My brain at this point sort of overloads and I look at my book and the spine is broken and two of the pages are not quite ripped out of the book  but they’re bent.

I guess you can’t throw an open book against a wall and not have it suffer some damage, right?

Damn,  bought that book with my own money when I was only a few years older then they are now, it was one of my prized possessions ( no pun intended)

I left them like that and in the morning I go into their room and I’m going to launch into my ruined book and how it would not be ruined had they KEPT THEIR HANDS OFF OF MY STUFF.

Instead when I open my mouth what comes out is:

” Wake Up! The power of Christ Compels You!”

Once they stopped screaming and we peeled our very angry cat off of the curtains we had a chat about

NOT TOUCHING MY BOOKS.

I’ll be honest.

It was funny then, it’s funny now.

It should be noted though that I did not receive a Mother’s Day card that year.

craftyexorcist

Reflections

Daily Prompt

The Young and the Rested

When was the last time you felt truly rejuvenated and energized? What made you feel that way?

I have had some jump out of bed, scream bloody murder, scare the cats up the curtain nightmares.

I love those dreams

The colors in those dreams are vibrant the images are well defined and the faces and the places are new to me so the sense of being lost and disoriented are so intense I can feel it for days.

After I have those dreams I have tons of new writing material and I can feel the endorphin rush for hours after I wake up.

I’m a junkie for those dreams, its so bad that when I have normal dreams where nothing happens I actually feel cheated out of a nights sleep and I’ll grumble to myself for hours.

The last dream I had involved my house being filled with mirrors.

I went from Mirror to mirror but I couldn’t see my reflection.

I came across one of those door sized mirrors in a heavy silver frame and there I was looking back at myself.

Finally.

I put my hands against the glass, rested my forehead  against it’s icy cold (?) coolness

 and tried to catch my breath.

I looked up when I  the heard screaming, horrible gut wrenching screaming.

” She has my face!” my reflection was screaming at me from the other side of the glass as she pounded on the glass and started to crack it ” That woman  HAS MY FACE!”

I woke up from that one feeling like I could have run from one end of the State to the other and when I was done headed for Canada.

Krampus!

krampus6

They’ve made a Christmas movie about Krampus.

William Shatner is in it.

It’s called a  Christmas Horror Story.

Santa is an Ninja who fights Krampus.

A little kid stabs his dad in the hand with a fork

And Santa’s Elves turn into Zombies.

I…I need a moment to reflect on this ….a horror movie about Christmas? Well. Krampus is a traditional Christmas story . But forks and hanging and blood? wait….I’m reflecting on this…still reflecting….

Okay.

I’m done.

pinkfelix

 

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Anita Marie! How Could You Do That To An Innocent Song?

Your Number One
What was the #1 song when you were born? (not sure? you can find out here.) Write about how the song relates (or not!) to your personality.
 ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
SANDY SHAW
November 5, 1964
Sandie Shaw (born Sandra Ann Goodrich, 26 February 1947) is an English pop singer, who was one of the most successful British female singers of the 1960s. In 1967 she was the first UK act to win the Eurovision Song Contest. She has been described as “the barefoot pop princess of the 1960s”. –
A love song?
Urp.
facepalm
Not into love songs- especially ones from the 60’s,
They’re not bad, it’s just that they just don’t speak to me.

Here’s the bright side- the #1 song on the chart on the day I was born was a love song about a woman who is being haunted by the memory of her lost love and of course that means…I can totally get behind this  as a horror story.

YAY.

I’m thinking, maybe he’s gone because she poisoned him or maybe she pushed him off of a bridge or in front of a bus or maybe he started to choke and she watched him die…and for as much as she wished him dead and when it  happened.

She was sorry after the deed was done,

Cause you know, once he was drained and embalmed and dressed in a spiffy suit and buried on a sunny spring morning she missed him so bad it hurt.

And now she sees him everywhere and she knows she always will and she accepts that.

She doesn’t care that he’s an angry ghost, bound to her because she’s wicked and can off somebody and trap their soul in a jar that she buried in her basement (and of course there is more then one jar because she’s demented).

I think the woman in this song is psycho, she’s dangerous, she’s evil and she almost has you feeling sorry for her…

almost.

Lyrics

walk along those city streets you used to walk along with me
And every step I take recalls how much in love we used to be

Oh how can I forget you
When there is always something there to remind me?
Always something there to remind me
I was born to love you
And I will never be free
You’ll always be a part of me
Whoa-ooo-ohhh-oh

If you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share
Just go back to the places where we used to go
And I’ll be there

How can I forget you
When there is always something there to remind me?
Always something there to remind me
I was born to love you
And I will never be free
You’ll always be a part of me
Whoa-ooo-ohhh-oh
Whoa-oh-ooo-ohhh

if you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share
Just come back to the places where we used to go
And I’ll be there

How can I forget you
When there is always something there to remind me?
Always something there to remind me
I was born to love you
And I will never be free
When there is
When there is
When, there, is
Always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me

franz-von-stuck-salome-1908-1343293552_org

Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned – and it was really bad this time

We lost power on Saturday.

This freak windstorm blew through  out state- which is also on fire  – so over the weekend I did a lot reading and other non-electricity related activities.

And then I did something I am not proud of.

I used my laptop, which was fully charged, to charge my phone. That’s right. I allowed my phone to drain the life from the thing which actually serves a purpose in my life.

NosferatuA

You read that right. Instead of using the my laptop, which is where I do all of my writing to actually write, I used it  to  charged my phone.

I even have a Freedom Pop mobile hotspot with a fully charged battery too and I could have written and  blogged  on line for a good eight hours total which would have been plenty of time for the two days we had no power.

Instead, I drained the life from my laptop to feed my freaking phone which I only used to goof off on facebook and take pictures of my dog and cats who seemed to enjoy the storm.  I also used it to  call and bitch with my friends who had no power too, and I only did that when I remembered to turn the ringer on so I could hear calls come through.

And did I mention I used my phone to play a Halloween Game that’s sort of like Tetris and Hangman?

I did a lot of that.

God.

I feel so unclean.

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 I figure my laptop is going to do something freaky, like it will develop some kind of Virus that will wipe out the Internet As We Know It and I’ll go down in history as the woman who killed the Interwebs and brought down civilization and sent us straight back to the Land of Dos

There’s a price to be paid for what I did.

I just know it.

giovanni-canavesio-judas-hanging-scene-from-christ-s-passion-fresco-1492-detail

You Never Learn, Do You?

Decisions, Decisions

How are you more likely to make an important decision — by reasoning through it, or by going with your gut?

heartvbrain

I would like to think that when I make decisions I use my head.

I don’t have a bad brain. For the most part it serves me well and I hardly ever get bored so it keeps me amused most of the time.

So for the most part I try to go by my head  AND  heart at the same time.

For balance.

And, you might wonder, what happens when  let my heart and brain work things out together?

Simple answer: without fail they screw it up every single time.

What do I expect? They’re only internal organs after all- and they’re not even interesting when you pop them out of a skull or crack open a chest and pull them out.

One is a muscle and the other is a sponge.

So when I make decisions I rely on the angel and the devil that ride around on my shoulders.They mess stuff up at some pretty darn epic- no, more like Mount Everest levels. Only when they mess up their self preservation skills are pretty darn superb, so sure. I’ll ‘fess up. I go with them every single time.

I don’t over think things. Sometimes I just  go with that little voice in my ear, close my eyes and go for it.

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