She’s Joking, Right?

:::Holidailies Prompt:::

If you could be a gift for anyone, what would you be, and who would you be given to?

I believe that when the year ends- and yes it IS just a date on the calendar we can use that date to draw a line in the sand.

Today is a new day and we can start the New Year a fresh while saying goodbye to the old year.

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In celebrating that, I would like to be the following gift and I would like to give myself to every son of a bitch who brought a second of pain or despair to my life over 2015.

I  truly want to gift anyone whom I had to shut up for when they spewed a bunch of babble I don’t agree with because I’m polite and don’t see any reason to challenge your belief system.

I want to give something special to my acquaintances who buried me in lame psycho babble and one-sided conversations where I couldn’t get a word in edgewise because what was being said AT me was far more profound than anything I could ever come up with in my own head.

I know. Strange right? To give a gift to people like that?

Hey  God does it all the time.

It’s called a smite…or is it smote.

Anyway, I got the idea from him.

So here it is:

I would like to be a hideous black eye.

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 I would like to show up on some faces on Christmas Eve and sit there festering away until New Year’s Day.

That way we could spend some quality time discussing how we can both be better people and become a credit to the human race.

Ha.

I’m just kidding about that part.

eye1

No, I just want to sit on someone’s eye and look awful and make people stare and wonder what the Hell is wrong with you- which is something I should have said a few times but didn’t.

Being a vicious black eye is my way of making up for that.

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I know, this is a heck of a thing to say on Christmas Eve.

But it IS Christmas Eve.

I want to give something heartfelt and this is it.

A black eye.

A scary black eye that talks to you and burrows its way into your brain and talks and talks and talks and never shuts the heck up.

Trust me. You’ll live through it.

I have.

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The rest of you get gift cards, candy and hugs.

Merry Christmas.

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Crunchy Snow and Comic Books

:::Holidailies Prompt:::

Tell Us About Snow

xmas snow

When I was growing up my Dad and his sister, my Aunt and my Grandparents had a very cool tradition.

No matter the time of day, if we were home and it snowed we would put on the Christmas tunes as we bundled and then we would head out for a walk in the snow.

We’d head to a store and buy treats- like coco mix and comic books ( my Aunt loved comic books so we’d stock up on the Archies ( or any of  Christmas themed ones ).

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And for good measure I’d ask for those weird magazines about UFOs the other one I loved was called Fate

Fate is a magazine about paranormal phenomena.

I’d  stock up on Fate during the year (  my Grandma Ginger had a subscription ) so I’d snag her copies and read them during the winter- don’t ask me why it made sense when I was nine.

fate

Back to the snow- If we were lucky it was dark and the snow was crunchy- I loved the crunchy sound of snow. I would break my own little path just so I could hear the snow crunch or squeak ( if it was powdery snow).

It was an adventure, and all along the way we’d tell stories to each other.

The weirder, the spookier- THE BETTER.

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There is only one thing that could top those memories- and the snow walks I’ve taken since.

That would be the chance to walk in snow on…snow on pluto

Pluto.

Tell me that wouldn’t be the bees knees.

I’d sign up for that trip in a heartbeat.

Or I’d love to take a snow walk on extreme weather mars poles

Mars.

Oh yes indeed.

Martian Snow.

Let that roll around your head for a minute.

Grand thought isn’t it?

And I know it’s methane snow- but snow is snow and that’s the stuff you’d find on the moon, Titan

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 I’d go to those planets- risk my life, give up years on Earth just to checkout the snow.

My family would be disappointed if there was ever a chance to do that and any of us passed it up.

We’d take comic books, magazines about ghosts and hot chocolate.

Want to tag along?

Of course you do.

The Mystery Of My Favorite Christmas Song

Holidailies 2015

The Mystery Of

My Favorite Christmas Song

I love Christmas songs- I pull out the music on Thanksgiving and I’ve got it going on until Christmas Night

Christmas movies are great, but the music?

That’s the most important part of the festivities- I can do without the the tree, but I must have the tunes.

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When I was a child I only learned part of a song that I say on every single holiday that came up, though I rattled it off more during Christmas.

Nobody in my family knew where I learned it and why I thought it was a holiday song- so it was an earworm.

Worse yet, I only knew one line and I would sing that one line over and over and the words weren’t even in English.

I’d get grilled about where I heard it, I guess the reasoning was if they knew the song title and the rest of the lyrics the mystery would be solved and it wouldn’t make everyone crazy when I sang :

Caput apri defero
Reddens laudes Domino

So it was years and years later when I was at a friend’s house and up comes THE SONG on their CD player that I tortured everyone with at Christmas, Birthdays, Funerals and Dinner parties.

It was a real song.

The mystery remains though, where I heard it.

It’s a nice mystery, a Christmas mystery and those kinds of mysteries are fun when you just let them be.

So I don’t put too much thought into solving the question.

Now that I know the entire song I like to sing it with as much joy and gusto as I can. If I’m not feeling it when I start, I always end up getting caught in the moment and I feel it  to my bones once I get going…

And here it is:

Boar’s Head ( Lyrics )

The boar’s head in hand bring I, (Or: The boar’s head in hand bear I,)
Bedeck’d with bays and rosemary.
And I pray you, my masters, be merry (Or: And I pray you, my masters, merry be)
Quod estes in convivio (Translation: As many as are in the feast)

CHORUS
Caput apri defero (Translation: The boar’s head I offer)
Reddens laudes Domino (Translation: Giving praises to the Lord)

The boar’s head, as I understand,
Is the rarest dish in all this land,
Which thus bedeck’d with a gay garland
Let us servire cantico. (Translation: Let us serve with a song)

CHORUS

Our steward hath provided this
In honour of the King of Bliss;
Which on this day to be served is
In Reginensi atrio. (Translation: In the hall of Queen’s [College, Oxford])

The Boar’s Head Carol is a macaronic 15th century English Christmas carol that describes the ancient tradition of sacrificing a boar and presenting its head at a Yuletide feast. Of the several extant versions of the carol, the one most usually performed today is based on a version published in 1521 in Wynkyn de Worde’s Christmasse Carolles.

( Wikipedia)