A Bike, The Mumps and Christmas Snow

Chritstmas Tree

 

So much snow, so many memories-

When I was 8  I came down with the mumps just before Christmas.

I got to stay home from school, and I spent most of my time drinking soda pop and coloring. It was great. My Mom bought me a ton of coloring books and paper dolls and I had our family dog Punky all to myself.

The only fly in the ointment was that year it wasn’t even cold enough to frost the windows let alone snow.

Then on Christmas Eve there was a cold snap and wouldn’t you know it? It started to snow.

My Dad bundled my brother and sister in their winter gear and took them for a walk in the snow with the dog and they left me at home with my stupid crayons and paper dolls. I stood in front of the living room window and  watched them merrily break a path in the new snow, which did indeed twinkle in the moonlight.

I didn’t say a word.

Then I went into my bedroom/jail cell and wrote a letter to Santa:

 

Dear Santa,

I hope you crash your sleigh and I hope your Reindeer get rabies and eat you.

Anita

 

I stuck my letter in my Christmas stocking and went to bed.

I woke up sometime in the night and I heard my Dad and his cousin laughing.

” That girl is a piece work ” one of them said and as I fell back to sleep I’m pretty sure I agreed.

 

The next morning I rolled out of bed, I put my robe on inside out and didn’t wear my slippers- which were pink and spectacular because they had little puppies all over them. I put one snow boot on and stalked out to the living room.

When I got out there, right next to the tree was what I had been asking for since the previous Christmas- a new bike.

It was lime green and had a gears and it had tiny little pale green daisies on the frame.

I was in love.

I sat next to my bike and opened my other presents- it was a haul- I got a rock tumbler, roller skates an etch a sketch, a butterfly yo-yo and a purple yo-yo. I even got a couple of Barbies, Sea Monkeys and a crystal growing kit.

My Mom pointed out my mumps would be gone soon and maybe the snow will have melted and I could take my bike and skates out and try them out.

I was in such a good mood I agreed.

Did I mention I got a Shrunken Head kit too?

We cleaned up the paper and started in on the treats and I took my bike to the pantry and where there was a back door that led to the back yard.

I guess someone looked up and saw me flying by the window in one boot, one slipper, my inside out robe on my new bike down the snow and ice filled street.

I’m not sure how long I was out there, but by the time I got home I had a huge bump on my forehead a couple more on the back of my head and I had sprained my ankle.

Plus side is, I got a couple of candy canes and a color book from the Nurse at the Doctor’s office.

For the rest of the night my Mom and Grandma kept waking me up and asking me my name and I almost ended up back in the hospital when I said, ” Emma Peel “.

 

So there it is- a snow memory and one of my best memories ever.

Apparently my parents thought it was pretty great too because years later I found my Santa Bite Me letter in a box with the Christmas ornaments.

As you can see,  my weirdness didn’t pop out of thin air.

The Holly Berry doesn’t fall far from the Holly Tree.

 

snow

Our Random View: Christmas Prompt Snow

You Better Be Good For Goodness Sake

 

 

Dear Santa

Do kids write letters to you, or do they text you?

If they text you how do you know if they actually did the texting? Does spelling count? Where do you stand on emojis?

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For some reason I didn’t think there were electrical outlets at the North Pole.

Call me old fashioned, but  I think it’d be cheating if you used a electricity and had access to the internet. Plus, it creeps me out that you managed to get the dirt on me as a kid without the help of technology.

By the way.

My Mom and Satan say, ” Hi ”

 

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Every year I like to goof off at the NORAD Tracks Santa site- I think it’s awesome.  Some of my friends don’t like it because they’re anti-war. I think  you should drop a dime on them and send Krampus to pay them a visit. I hate party poopers, don’t you?

krampus-puppet-master

 

This year I’d like to wake up on Christmas Morning and find that a ton of snow had fallen over night and I’d like a saucer sled and I’d like to switch on the news and hear that we’re being invaded by Martians- and if you could swing it, I’d like the Martians to look like this

Five Million Years

because let’s face it, Five Million Years to Earth was the best Martians invade earth movie EVER.

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Well Santa, I know how busy you are.

I hope my letter finds you in good health and that I get my Invasion from Mars and snow because if you want me to stay good it’s going to cost you Big Red.

You might see me when I’m sleeping, and you might know when I’m awake but I have GPS and Google.

Ho Ho Ho

Anita Marie

 

Our Random View Prompt:  Write A Letter To Santa

Beautifully Vicious

 

I am not a fan of the Spring

or Summer.

“How glorious it is!” cry the worshipers of the Sun.

All of that greenery and things growing and babies being born and things hatching from eggs.

 

Have you never seen a  Vampire movie? Seen a tic sucking blood from a dog, a leech stuck to someone’s leg?

That’s what the Spring does to the Earth, Summer is what is left after its sucked the life from everything around it.

Summer is an embalmed corpse in a casket.

” Look how natural she looks.” People say as they pass the dearly departed

 

No matter how you cut it, it’s still a dead body in a box and after Spring has its way Summer is the dried up formaldehyde filled remains of what the Earth  once was.

 

Autumn is the world taking a breath, taking a rest after being sucked dry, cooling down- it must be a relief after being mindlessly consumed like a tub full of over buttered theater popcorn by a bunch of greedy, grubby little creatures  with nothing else better to do then munch and lick their fingers greedily in the dark.

 

Winter is brutal- the cold, the ice, the dark the days when the Sun is blazing and no matter how long you stand under it you can’t get warm. The breath in your lungs turns to ice in your veins and I think the world is laughing its crust off.

 

Winter is my favorite time of the year.

 

It’s beautifully vicious, just like me.

 

merry-christmas

 

Creativity Portal: Winter Writing Prompt#16

Merry Memories

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Candle light

sparkling lights

dancing on the Christmas Tree

was it really that warm and golden

sweet to the eye, warm to the touch?

 

Home baked treats

hot drinks

food piled high on my plate

was it really that delicious

sweet to the eye, warm to the touch?

 

Music played soft

laughter as loud as bells

ringing through a dark cold night

sweet to the mind, warm to remember.

 

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Our Random View: Christmas Food/Booze Shopping