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WP Prompt:

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

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Yesterday I was waiting for my train when there was an announcement that the our train was changing tracks so we had to walk over to the other side of the station to catch our train. It’s no big deal. It’s just across the tracks.

After we crossed over the people standing with me on the platform and I saw on guy walking back and forth in the spot he normally waits for the train doors to open. He was looking up and down the tracks. He was looking at us. I saw him ask someone riding by on a bike a question but the guy on the bike rode by.

I see this guy a lot- he has a very distinctive walk. He waddles like a penguin.

I stood there with everyone else but I wondered, if I didn’t call over to him to cross over would anybody else?

The woman standing behind me said, ‘ well, you snooze you lose ‘ and the guy standing behind her said ” dumbass”

There was a dozen of us in that spot watching this man- or pretending not to watch him.

I decided today was the day I  joined Team Jackass and watched this poor confused man walking back and forth trying to figure out what to do.

Finally I yelled over that if he was going to Seattle, he need to cross over. He asked me what a few times so I yelled louder and and then he nodded and walked over.

On that day my goal was to be a heartless jackass and join the Heartless Jackass Club.

I did not make my goal.

The Ghost

WP: Daily Prompt

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Artist Unknown

When you are a ghost like me,

you don’t have to worry about anyone tossing up a roadblock

to keep you from your goals.

I used to think that was sad

but now I am starting to think it isn’t so bad

to be a ghost like me

passing through each day, each minute

unnoticed by the world raining despair around me.

 

You Said ” What? “

Inspired by the Daily Prompt: How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Still Life of Fish and Cat
Clara Peetersafter 1620

When you- or to put it bluntly- when I had a goal there was no shortage of people in my life to remind me to stay humble and reasonable and to not  BE be so ‘god damn selfish ‘ when anybody- and I do mean ANYBODY needed my undivided attention.

And let me tell you, I had so much help in the ‘becoming a better person in the being humble department’  that if you asked me for the last drop of blood in my veins I would give it to you because what have I DONE to deserve that last drop of blood in my veins when there are so many other people deserve it more then I?

In the end I became a bloodless corpse walking around with a gentle smile on my face but boy oh boy if you told me to jump or bark like a good girl I did.

But nothing good lasts forever.

Here’s the thing about putting your foot on somebody’s neck and pushing down on it when you want to remind them to not be ‘so selfish and to think of other people’-

they really start to believe they don’t matter and once they accept that the next step to believe is you don’t matter too and that well of darkness  that you helped people like me dig in their heads or their hearts  is bottomless and dark.

and you never know when you might fall into it one day.

Let me end this on a teensy up beat note.

When I cut away the deadwood in my life- and by that I mean people who brought NOTHING into my life except their wants, their desires and support for THEIR goals in life I found out I could write again. In fact I improved and this year I plan on taking it to the next level.

However, there are times though when I start to feel like I don’t need that lost drop  of blood in my veins and before I give it up, in my head me and that person who wants that tiny drop take a stroll through my head to where that bottomless well is and when we are done there I sit down and I start to write again.

“How a Braggart was Drowned in a Well”, Folio 33v from a Haft Paikar (Seven Portraits) of the Khamsa (Quintet) of Nizami of Ganja