Baby Monster and The Ghost

Modern Families

If one of your late ancestors were to come back from the dead and join you for dinner, what things about your family would this person find the most shocking?

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If my family had the chance to come back from the dead, I doubt if any of them would want to hang around the dinner table and bond with their living relatives.

You’ve never met a bigger collection of people who loved to tell ghost stories at the drop of a hat. They told them at holiday gatherings, when we were waiting for around waiting  babies to be born at the hospital, when we were in the check out line at the grocery store.

In other words, if there was more then one of us, somebody was going to start of with, ” I heard something really strange a few days ago…”

 ghosts-in-the-cloister.jpgMy Mom and Dad’s family are full of storytellers, next to musicians anyone who could tell a story was guaranteed an enthusiastic audience.

Let’s just say one of them showed up at dinner time and went looking for me- let’s say it was my Grandfather Cyrpriano.

My Grandfather, my little sister and my Grandmother Ignancia.

My Grandfather, my little sister and my Grandmother Ignancia.

I think he’d be surprised to find me outside at dusk, sitting on my porch steps with my dog and cats.

I wouldn’t have the radio on, no phone near me, no book, no distractions.

I’d be  looking up into the sky, or into the trees and I’d be listening for an ocean that is far away from where I am now.

” What are you doing out here? How old are you now anyway? ” He would laugh. “Looking for ghosts Anita?”

” Fifty-one and I find ghosts all the time. I’m a writer now.”

” Woo, that’s old!” He’d laugh again.

My Grandfather was either laughing or smiling all of the time.

” Writing? That’s good.”

He would be pleased to hear I came a storyteller.

”  I remember when we were afraid you’d never talk. You would look at us like this, ” he tilted his chin down and rolled his eyes up and snarled a little.

” I did NOT do that instead of talking.”

” Yeah you did.” He’d sit next to me, stretch legs out, smile and lift his face to the sky. ” You looked like a  Baby Monster. Bet you don’t tell that name to anybody.”

” I write about it now. It’s actually kind of cool.”

My Grandfather doesn’t look surprised.

” Why aren’t you inside, isn’t it dinner time?” he asks.

” Plenty of time to eat. Anyway. I don’t like to eat dinner before it gets dark.”

” Besides, this is the time when we used to talk story Apo.” I would say with years of him not be alive echoing in my voice. ” This was my favorite part of the day. Waiting on the porch for you to come home from the canefields. Then you’d get cleaned up and you’d come outside and we would all sit on the porch and talk story until the sun went down and then we’d eat. It was a very magical time. Do you know that?”

He would smile.

“The doors would be open and the cousins would be here and the Uncles. Why did I need to talk anyway? I couldn’t take in enough of your voices. I didn’t want to miss a word.”

” That face…”

” You liked it.” I laughed.

” Yeah. Yeah I did.”

” I can be with a hundred people, and at this time everyday …” I look over at him ” I go back to Honokaa”

” That’s sad, to be so far away from where you are and out here alone.”

wp-1452480041256.jpegI look over at his face that always has a smile on it somewhere.

” This time of the day, I’m never alone.”

The Love Of Thousands

YOUNG AT HEART

What are your thoughts on aging? How will you stay young at heart as you get older?

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Here’s my thought on aging:

It happens.

How do I plan on staying young as it happens?

I don’t.

I mean, are you kidding me? Being young is hard work. It’s brutal. I have the battle scares to prove it- we all do. Why in all things that we wish for, do you wish for that?

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

I’ve heard people say it over and over again, ” I don’t want to die old and alone.”

None of us do, but at the end of the day, it’s just going to be us and the Grim Reaper.

All the hand holding in the world won’t keep him away.

Not youth, not magic or chanting or the best drugs in the world.

This is the how why and how I keep my chin up:

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I’ve made it to 51…and God willing I will make it far beyond.

My nephew died as a young man. He never got the chance to even come close to being  51 let alone 81 or 91. I can say that of my friends and relatives who have passed.

 I believe they are the ones who are cheering me on and giving me strength as the years pass. I think they are the reason I can look in the mirror and say, ” Whoa lady, will you look at those lines on your forehead and near your eyes” with a laugh

I have been blessed with with youth, I have been blessed with gray hair, the chance to experience my bum knee getting a little worse each year.

I have been given the gift of living a full life.

I don’t want to stay young, I don’t want to stay old. I want to experience and feel it all and when my clock stops and it’s time to move on I think I’ll be ready for it.

At any rate…

Fingers crossed!

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Just Call Me The Angel of Death

Sorry, I’m Busy

Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone… but didn’t.

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The last time I should have helped someone and didn’t  and will take that  to my grave was when my dog Cerberus got sick.

Her stomach turned and the Vet told me it would cost seven thousand- you read that right $7,000.00 to save her life.

They took checks or credit cards but it was cash up front no matter how you looked at it.

Then I got the speech about how I shouldn’t feel bad if I couldn’t afford it, how she might not pull through and there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again- read- it’s okay to kill your dog Anita because you don’t have the money to save her life.

So I put her down and I watched her die because I didn’t have the money to save her life.

I begged her to forgive me, I promised her she would see Wolfgang ( my cat and her big brother ) when she woke up and then I told her I loved her.

Those were the last words she heard.

I wouldn’t blame her if she went to reward calling bullshit on that.

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I am pretty sure that since then I’ve dropped the ball here and there in my relationships and wasn’t there when I should have been.

But do you know what?

After I killed my dog, I really don’t think anyone in my life has anything to bitch about.

It’s not like you’re going to die if I can’t be there.

In fact, you might want to reconsider calling me at all.

Slow The Endless Night

:::Holidailies Prompt:::

If the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you want to spend your last day doing?

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I love to watch shows like ” How The Universe Works” and ” Through The Wormhole”…oh and ” The Universe. “

What I find amusing is that they’re big on telling you how the world  could end.

In theory.

MAYBE.

In one of my favorite episodes of   Death by Universe they explained what taking a direct hit from a Gamma Ray would do to the Earth.

One scientist said the Earth would be destroyed in the blink of an eye- that’s why nobody is interested in really finding a way to protect the Earth from that because it would be over before we saw it coming.

And then this Scientist smiled-he smiled this super creepy smile.  He’d have given Vincent Price’s Dr. Phibes a run for this money.

It was a stellar moment on TV.

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So lets say some freaky thing happened and Earth got knocked out of the Solar sytem and we were headed  out into space where  the  Earth would turn into this giant ball of ice and we’d be locked inside of it.

I guess I’d spend that last day looking at the Sun, but I live outside of Seattle so you know- that’s iffy. More likely maybe  I’d wrap myself in my favorite quilt and light some candles and watch them burn.

In time they would wink out, one by one

And then I figure it would all be over.

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As I thought about this prompt I remembered some lines from my favorite poem ever, I named my blog after lines in The Immortal Part by A.E. Housman.

So here is what I thought when contemplating the death of our world:

‘Empty vessel, garment cast,
We that wore you long shall last.
—Another night, another day.’         35
So my bones within me say.
Therefore they shall do my will
To-day while I am master still,
And flesh and soul, now both are strong,
Shall hale the sullen slaves along,         40
Before this fire of sense decay,
This smoke of thought blow clean away,
And leave with ancient night alone
The stedfast and enduring bone.

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Ok. One day we’re all going to die- maybe we’ll all die together in the same moment or maybe we go on alone when our time is up.

But if I knew it was coming I’d live whatever time I had- reading a book, watching candles burn, playing fetch with my dog because I would want to live those last moments living MY life the way I always have.

Like  Housman says- I intend on being master of my flesh and bone until the very end- and I’m not going to be pushed or hurried along to my grave while doing stuff that I should have done while I could savor the experience.

Run around and cram a lost life into a fun packed last day?  Or go out on my own terms?

Not a hard decision to make when I put some serious thought into it.

Not hard at all.

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