Just Call Me The Angel of Death

Sorry, I’m Busy

Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone… but didn’t.

angeldeath

The last time I should have helped someone and didn’t  and will take that  to my grave was when my dog Cerberus got sick.

Her stomach turned and the Vet told me it would cost seven thousand- you read that right $7,000.00 to save her life.

They took checks or credit cards but it was cash up front no matter how you looked at it.

Then I got the speech about how I shouldn’t feel bad if I couldn’t afford it, how she might not pull through and there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again- read- it’s okay to kill your dog Anita because you don’t have the money to save her life.

So I put her down and I watched her die because I didn’t have the money to save her life.

I begged her to forgive me, I promised her she would see Wolfgang ( my cat and her big brother ) when she woke up and then I told her I loved her.

Those were the last words she heard.

I wouldn’t blame her if she went to reward calling bullshit on that.

poison

I am pretty sure that since then I’ve dropped the ball here and there in my relationships and wasn’t there when I should have been.

But do you know what?

After I killed my dog, I really don’t think anyone in my life has anything to bitch about.

It’s not like you’re going to die if I can’t be there.

In fact, you might want to reconsider calling me at all.

5 thoughts on “Just Call Me The Angel of Death

  1. brilliant writing, and i get it there was this once when my might have needed an operation we were waiting for the test results and i had already considered doing the same thing for the same reason… test revealed there was no need, bu ti keep punishing myself for considering that. and i do feel less reliable since… love

  2. Don’t feel guilty. I’m sure that when you let Cerbie go it was not as much about the money as it was about not wanting her to be in pain. I swore a long time ago, even though I love my cat, that if she got sick with cancer or something else serious I would do the same thing because I wouldn’t want her to suffer.

    • Cerbie would follow me, even when her arthritis was bad that day. I’d have to wait for her to catch up to my heel ( and this was in the house and yard ) but I never walked away from her. How could I when she was willing to walk through her pain just to be at my side? And she was so happy when she caught up. Her eyes were so bright and she was so happy to be next to me. I wish I could have saved her but I think she understands, I’m having trouble with it. But one day we’ll be together again , so we can go over it then.

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