The Christmas Tree That Almost Wasn’t

Photo A.M. Moscoso

I haven’t done the tree thing for awhile.

This year I did it and do you know what feeling came over me as I started to decorate it?

Stringing lights is a punishment job. It’s like the tree’s revenge on you for taking it’s life. It’s tedious, it’s boring, it’s just POINTLESS. Around and around you go and then the lights are up and you don’t get a medal for a job well done. Everyone in the WORLD gets a participation award for doing stuff.

Is there one for stringing lights?

No there is not.

To make it worse I have a fake tree and I didn’t even get that Christmas tree smell on my hands. My hands smelled like plastic.

Oh JOY.

Good thing I wasn’t listening to the Trans Siberian Orchestra. I may have been swept up in the music and just pitched the tree with the light string from Hell over my deck to the dark grounds below.

Eventually I got the lights up and I got the decorations on and as I stood there wondering who I could bribe to take it down and pack it away after Christmas my dog, Hamish Macbeth, sniffed the tree, his tail went crazy- when he’s really happy he spins his tail in circles and then he licked a few ornaments which ‘accidently’ ended up in his mouth and after he spit them back out into my hand he stretched out next to the Tree That Almost Wasn’t and took a little nap:

Photo A.M. Moscoso

In fact, he seems to like the tree. He camps out there with his toys and when I come home at night he runs from it to me, like he’s showing me this cool thing that showed up one day and isn’t it great?

” It’s still here! ” I think Hamish is saying.

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

I’m not counting down the days until the Tree comes down, I’m not thinking about bribing anyone to take it down after Christmas.

I’m thinking my dog loves this thing- and I’m wondering how he will feel when it’s gone.

I wish I could explain to him we’ll have another one next year.

With lights. Lots of lights.

Darn it.

amm

The Christmas Tree Tiara of Shame

 

I spent six dollars on the Christmas Tree Tiara that my dog wore for 2 seconds.

TWO SECONDS.

We took a half dozen pictures and only 2 didn’t look a dark brown apparition was trying to leap out of the picture to freedom and beyond.

Right after the camera clicked for what would be the final shot, Hamish tossed is head back, the Tiara flew up into the air he caught it and then he tried to eat it.

As I pried the sparkly Tiara from his jaws I became determined in that moment when it felt like Hamish hocked up a quart of spit all over my hand to make sure

THE CHRISTMAS TREE TIARA OF SHAME is used over and over and over again.

Why? Because I am like that…so here it is…the beginning of the many adventures of

The Christmas Tree Tiara of Shame.

##########################

Here the Devilish Sparkler claims it’s first victim:

Hamish Macbeth

 

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Two days later The Christmas Tree Tiara of Shame claims it’s  second victim:

Micey The Cat

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

I got it on Micey, he sat there, I took his picture and that night Micey barfed on my carpet.

I think that Micey won that one.

Photo A.M. Moscoso

The Season has yet to begin and the Christmas Tree Tiara of Shame has struck twice.

Beware.

amm

Hamish and The Costume Search

My dog, Hamish Macbeth just turned three years old and has yet to be dressed up for Halloween.

I am SO embarrassed.

Mortified even.

The problem is, nothing seems to capture the goofy, friendly, somewhat naughty creature that is Hamish.

Photo A.M. Moscoso

And then I saw this fantastic video.

Mommy is inspired Hamish! Maybe we won’t have to resort to dressing you up like a Tootsie Roll or Chocolate Kiss after all!

The Best Dog In The World

Hamish
By A.M. Moscoso

I think my dog, Hamish Macbeth is pretty darn amazing.

He can open and close doors, he can work the deadbolt, he knows the names for his toys, ” ball, treat toy, toy, frisbee”- so he’ll bring you the one you ask for.

He does great off leash work and he is that perfect mix of sweet and willful.

I think if he could, he’d walk around whistling or singing.

He has that kind of personality.

Hamish-
Somebody asked for a frisbee?

Recently, we learned to use the slide at our neighborhood playfield to launch his tennis balls from- he thinks it’s great. I have to wait for him to roll them down and I get to fetch them.

It took me awhile to get him used to going up there and not launching himself off after a minute or two. He decided it was a cool place to be because if he didn’t feel like coming down there was no way for me to make him.

When he learned he could send things rolling down the slide,  it was a good day to be Hamish Macbeth.

Hamish:
A.M.Moscoso

Recently Hamish turned three years old and I’m not sure what happened but all of the sudden I started to feel like I had shorted Hamish.

I don’t show Hamish- he comes from a line of show dogs and it shows in ways- he’s bright, focused and a bit of a comedian- he also reads people with his Ninja like radar.

All of the sudden I wanted Hamish to have ribbons and titles. I wanted to stand in a ring with him and have everyone know what a great dog he is.

The thing of it is, I don’t have the time to show him and I like our approach to learning new skills- it’s all for fun and if he doesn’t get it right away I honestly don’t mind.

He always learns in the end and he gets to do it at his own pace.

I told a friend that I was going to buy him a blue collar and leash and retire his pink leash and collar that he’s been wearing for most of his life.

Pink is my favorite color and he’s a chocolate lab with just a tinge of gold to his coat that I can’t seem to capture on camera, so the pink looks really stunning on him.

My friend pointed out that Pink is Hamish’s trademark and why am I giving that up?

Because I can’t help him win ribbons or titles and that’s as close as we’ll ever get to it I said.

” But he’s a great dog Anita.”

I know that.

But is that enough I wondered?

Photo: A.M Moscoso

 

That evening I was in bed reading a book and Hamish jumped up beside me and laid down next to me.

Hamish put his head on my should and looked at me with the most adoring puppy dog eyes I have ever seen in my life.

Hamish sighed and then he snuggled into my shoulder.

Then he lifted his head up and tried with determination and his version of laughing,  to stick his tongue up my nose.

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

Hamish and The Poison Bee

My dog is a Chocolate Labrador in name only.

He’s more like a fuzzy happy garbage can that eats whatever you drop into it- need I mention that I’m sure he’s the reason why my cat’s litter box is suspiciously clean at times?

Together it’s safe to say that Hamish eats anything.

Anything that is except for the Baby’s Bee ( that’s what we call pacifiers in my family- Bees ) that turned up in the street on our walks.

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Hamish sniffed the Bee once and from then on he walks wide circles to get away from it- not only does he avoid it I’ve noticed other dogs doing the same thing.

It’s been there for almost two weeks now- so I named it the Poison Bee.

( Hamish putting hate on the Poison Bee )

Sometimes I’ll be going through my day or just as I fall asleep at night or when I wake up in the morning and I think to myself- what is it with that Bee…the Poison Bee…and I’m starting to think maybe it’s got to me, that it’s in my system working it’s way through my blood like poison does.

Maybe.

Photo A.M. Moscoso

BEWARE THE POISON BEE

H.Macbeth

 

The Crofter’s Son

 

My friend Angie Stutting Marcelynas

wrote this Haiku about my wonderful dog, Hamish Macbeth-

If you would like a personalized Haiku AND help out a great lady go HERE

 

Photo A.M, Moscoso

Of which do we speak?

The crofters son or the beast?

Scratch his back and see

Photo A.M. Moscoso

I Saw It, I Swear

Photo A.M. Moscoso

I looked deep into his eye…was that a monster looking back at me?

I wondered.

 

Photo A.M. Moscoso

When you think you see a monster and it turns out

the monster was never there-

unless you count the one that was in your head at the time.