His name was Issac Ross and he fought in the Revolutionary War
This is Jimmy Kimmel, when he got kicked off the air by Donald Trump, the stain that was elected President of the United States and now is styling himself as King- I think my Great Grandfather vomited in his grave the day that happened.
But guess what- Jimmy Kimmel is back and my Great Grandfather’s grave is happily barf free ( I hope )
When I was in Junior High school ( back in the late 70’s) I wrote a short story for my English class about people having to submit their children’s birth certificates to ” The License Department” to be approved. If it wasn’t, the babies got taken away and had to go to an Orphanage in the desert.
The babies actually got left in the desert in cardboard boxes to die and the area they got left in was called ” Orphans Cradle”
My teacher- Mr Hall said it was such a ridiculous story that he wouldn’t grade it. I had to write something else.
Fuck you, Mr. Hall- you should have graded my paper.
In a significant decision on Friday, the U.S. Supreme Court permitted the Trump administration to move forward with its controversial plan to curtail automatic birthright citizenship — a policy shift that could have major implications for immigration and constitutional rights.
Gen X Kids used to do this thing where we would throw lawn darts straight up into the air and dodge out of the way at the last minute. Nobody I knew ever lost an eye, but a bunch of us that weren’t so swift of foot have little round scars around our ears.
I also remember our parents would be sitting on the patio, watching us dodge lawn darts and shooting roman candles off into each other’s faces while they were chain smoking and not caring if they were going to end up in the Emergency Room with their kid at the end of the night .
I can honestly say- I feel sorry for the generations who came after us. They didn’t get to test their mortality, win and have a story to tell.
They have avatars do it all for them.
Here’s my advice go out and buy a set of Lawn Darts a pack of Roman Candles and do NOT follow the safety instructions because living stupid is better then not living at all.
[Verse 1]
It was the third of July
And the weather was fine
Ed brought the hotdogs
The croquet set was mine
But the red ball was missing
And three mallets were bent
Ed suggested lawn darts
So to Kmart we went
We looked by the yard games
We looked by the grills
But we couldn’t find lawn darts
Come high water or hills
We talked to the salesclerk
But she started to cry
She said “They’re off the shelves now”
And she told us both why
[Chorus]
A kid was pegged
In the head
With a lawn dart
Her dad
Didn’t see her
That’s the worst part
