It might sound strange, but at this exact moment in time if I had the chance I would pack up my dog and my laptop and head for the most remote, silent and slightly spooky monastery I could find.
You would think that with everyone feeling cloistered against their will that the world would be quiet but it’s not.
There is enough moaning and groaning and wails of despair to drown out the sounds of the most powerful hurricane force winds in the solar system- which happen to be tearing around Neptune at over 750 miles an hour
In other words, it’s just to noisy and I would like just a minute, just a second to be able to take a breath- instead of feeling like the air is being sucked out of my lungs.
I used to think that I could write under any condition like people walking in and out of my work area, or ringing phones and pinging microwave ovens and maybe I still can.
But I think the problem is, there is so much emotion out there and fear and anger- which I write about- that it feels like white noise and I’m having trouble filtering in all out to maybe capturing one or two experiences.
I’d like to take in some atmosphere, taste the world, experience it instead of feeling like I’m being squeezed out of it like toothpaste being forced through the tube.
Yesterday I was watching the news, and one of the health experts that was being interviewed suggested that when families from different households get together over the holidays that they eat before they get together and just enjoy the company- while wearing masks and maintaining social distancing- and of course people who are high risk should probably not be there.
You know, the holidays are going to be bust and I’ll probably skip it this year. Besides I am notorious for buying the wrong gifts and not cooking the right foods and always showing up on the scruffy side because I manage to not wear the right thing too.
I am tired of this stupid life and this stupid world and I am tired of idiots screeching for their ‘freedoms’ and I am tired of encouraging people who are doing the right things.
I hate this life we have with abandon- for some reason my enthusiasm for that has not waivered.