I can’t draw, God knows I’ve tried but I’ve given up on it.
Whatever wiring in my brain that would make this happen did not happen for me.
But I have discovered this great new hobby where I can KIND of draw- color books!
The first color books for adults ( wow that sounds bad ) that I became aware of concerned swear words- I have those. You can color them and finish a page in less then a half hour, so I haven’t colored in those books yet.
I prefer the ones that take time, I know you can use pencil strokes and different things to get different results but for now I just like to sort of kick back and have fun:
I like how the pictures you can color are sort of a mess of doodles around the subject – I think that was pretty smart of the artist who created the book.
That way you can feel like you’re creating something too.
I never used to like stuff like this- I just found it confusing.
The mess of colors and lines, I just got lost in it.
I’ve since learned that this is the point to art and pictures like this.
I’ve also learned coloring is fun and I’m hoping I keep having fun doing it, I hope I get to my swear coloring books soon and that I find that perfect set of pencils soon.
I’ve learned some valuable things about the world from being a Mortician and writing Horror Stories.
Here are a few of them:
Dead men do tell tales, they tell them all of the time.
You just have to be willing to listen.
Horror Stories are like Love Stories minus the pretense.
I hate The Lord of the Ring Movies…I’d rather watch a Twilight ( the tween Vampire movies ) Marathon then sit the Lord Of The Ring Movies. I’d rather shove a fork in my eye. There’s no reason for that to be on this list. I just felt like putting that here.
When you’re embalming bodies you get super thirsty. So drink a lot of water before you embalm. I’m not kidding.
When I write a story about Death, or The Devil or Cannibals I get my best ideas after watching shows like Cake Wars or Chopped because the contestants on those shows would take their Moms down for that Ten Thousand Dollar prize.
( Yep. That’s a cake )
Never, ever write about the Dead if you have a funeral background. It’s unseemly.
The living are fair game.
I’m sorry, but I’ve learned this to be true: If you’re writing a horror story and you’re not laughing I’d say you’re not connecting with your writing. How can I say that? Come on. You’re getting away with murder or something anti-social or wicked
Even if it’s just in your head.
It’s enough to make one positively giddy.
I listen to Tom Waits before I write. Sometimes ABBA. Does that surprise you? That’s probably why I can do the same when I write.