Ring Ring Ring

Game of Groans
Think about an object, an activity, or a cultural phenomenon you really don’t like. Now write a post (tongue in cheek or not — your call!) about why it’s the best thing ever.

old-fashioned-woman

Remember back in  the olden days when all you could do on a  phone was talk into it?

It just sat on a table or it hung on the wall and when it rang  you had to run to it and hope the other person didn’t hang up  before you could answer it.

Now you can carry your phone around with you anywhere you go.

Even if you are in an accident and  strapped to a stretcher with you head immobilized you can not only answer  your phone, you can take a selfie and go to Facebook and update your status to say something like, ‘ I think my neck is broken and everyone in my car and the other car are smashed to a bloody pulp and they’re all dead but at least the Paramedics are hot LOL.”

You can text message  from your phone too- but those aren’t just four or five sentences forced to exist  together like couples in an arranged marriage. Oh no. Those are literary  gems. If Hemingway were alive he’d die with envy because text messages are so concise so well crafted so alive.  Plus you can do little faces like this you
to get your point across…instead of you know, explaining yourself.

Text messages are the best thing ever, instead of talking you can just send a picture of a woman sitting on a rock and looking off into the distance or arranging flowers.

Back when I was a kid that was how Kotex and Tampon said ‘buy our products’.

tampon2

Nowadays the same image means you’re centered and feeling strong and the person you send the Tampon Ad to will know it and you don’t have to say, ” I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking. How are you doing?”

I love my phone.

It whistles and sings to me and I’m not ashamed to admit when it calls I am it’s slave and I do whatever it tells me to do- update it, recharge it, make sure it’s safe and away from harm at all times.

I’d drop a baby before I’d drop my phone.

I worry  that when it gets older  I’ll have to think about replacing it- I mean we have a life together me and my phone.

My phone, my companion,  my connection to the world, what was I before you?

I was an empty shell. I know that now.

Never leave me- I can’t exist, do NOT exist without you.

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