I look for clarity when I look up because sometimes when I do I see something new, something that makes me think and wonder without being concerned with where my mind wanders to.
I think that’s the way my dog feels when I let him off of his leash and let him run:
I can’t draw and what I do when I scratch something out can only described as one of Victor Frankenstein’s failed experiments ( can you imagine what THOSE would have looked like in the real world, let alone in a story?).
But I have always wanted to be an artist, to be able to draw. So when color books came into fashion again and adults got back into it I jumped on that bandwagon and happily bought pencils, gel pens and a ton of color books.
Because in visual art there is a clarity, you see what’s there but you can see so much more and for that one project, in that moment you can share it.
Sometimes clarity hits you at odd times- one morning I came into work and two men had been shot and killed just up the street, where I would normally get off of the bus. A few days earlier I had just got off the bus when a car drove by and someone threw a bottle out of a moving car and the bottle broke on the wall behind me.
Homeless people put tents up their tents up near the bus stop over night. They had the same reaction I did when the bottle exploded against the wall, they ignored it and I kept walking and they kept taking their tents down for the day.
On the day of the shooting, I went outside and looked up the street where the road was still taped off and the police were parked.
It was a beautiful sunny day, you’d never have guessed that two people had met tragic ends on under that bright morning sky.
I didn’t go back outside until I left work. I spent a lot of time that day thinking about death and blue skies and how, in a strange way they seem to belong together.
I believe in moments of clarity.
And then I believe we let go of that moment and instead of falling through life we fly.
If we are lucky that moment of flight is so freeing that we look for and leave ourselves open for that next moment- no matter what form it takes.