I remember my Grandma Ginger telling me that the worst thing a ‘lady’ could do was to draw attention to herself.

Be modest, she told me, be quiet she told me, don’t show off she said.

At some point I noticed that wasn’t advice she gave out to just anybody- she didn’t give it  my sister or my cousins or even herself. Nope. That little gem was something she gifted to me.

Now when  realized I was being shuffled into the role of everybody else’s personal cheerleader- that my job was to make other people feel good about themselves and to never EVER ask for that kind of support in return- well.

I didn’t take it well.

I joined rock bands and played lead ( not rhythm LEAD guitar) I rode motorcycles and wore black eye shadow and I had anger problems so I got into a few fist fights where I did NOT come out on the losing end.

This rebellion of my took place in the mid 1970’s so I sort of stuck out in a crowd.

Which was the idea.

I suppose I was angry because I felt  like Ginger saw me as being inferior and damn it, that was so unfair. I wasn’t perfect but who was?

Now I have a granddaughter of my own and I can’t imagine telling her to be less of who she is so that other people could feel better about themselves.

I think that when we are bold and vibrant and showy, when we are at our best and we can feel it- it’s better for everyone involved.