Are You Asleep Yet?

In 2021  on this day, it was not Friday the 13th and this was the story I had posted. 

 Fandango’s Flashback Friday — September 13th  

I would like to ask present the story that asks: 

” Are You Asleep Yet?

 

They’re just two little boys, brothers,  one is named Virgil and the other is named Dill. They like to ride scooters with the light up wheels in the park across the street from their park and they like to ride their bikes to the Zipity Mart for microwave burritos.

The brothers always remember to wear their helmets on their rides to the Zipity Mart because when they forget they can hear their Mom calling them from a half mile away to come back and put their helmets on – and how embarrassing is that?

Ask any  random eight or nine year old- it’s VERY embarrassing.

Dill and Virgil think their Mom is bossy and they wish their Dad was home more, but he was always out on the road- after all if he didn’t work so hard who was going to bring home the bacon he would ask?

Dill and Virgil thought about it- and in the end they decided that even if they missed their Dad, they would miss bacon even more.

 

The brothers got along most of the time, but if things went sideways for them it was always going to go sideways at bedtime.

There were some nights where bedtime went off like clockwork.

Pajamas, brush their teeth, wash their faces and hop into bed.

Dill had a stuffed bear that he liked to sleep with and sometimes, if Virgil remembered- he would hide it which sent Dill into a panic and their Mom into hysterics because in Mom’s universe wore you helmet when you rode your bike, you washed your face AFTER you brushed your teeth and bedtime was bedtime, it was not playtime, it was not look for Dill’s stuffed bear time IT WAS BEDTIME.

Except every once and awhile the Universe didn’t go to Mom’s plan and they would hear their Mother roar from her room ” ARE YOU TWO ASLEEP? ”

The boys looked at each other. Dill shrugged and Virgil called to her:

” Almost!”

In case you haven’t caught up, ” almost ” was not the answer Mom was going to accept. No sir. Not at all.

They heard their Mom fly down the stairs to their room, they heard the bedroom door bang open and then her face was above them. “ Almost is the wrong answer! The sun is almost up!  Close those eyes and go to sleep you little monsters! I mean it!”

She banged their coffin lid down and after they were sure she was gone Dill snorted and said in his best Virgil impression ” Almost. ”

Of course there was some pinching, there was some poking, but after awhile the boys turned on their sides and settled down.

And under the watchful button eyes of Dill’s bear who was hanging from the light fixture in the middle of their room,  the morning sunlight and the daytime hours wore away above their heads until they both finally went to sleep.

The Mom

Thursday Inspiration #245 Changes

When my sons were kids, I eventually found out that their favorite TV show was Malcolm in Middle.

I watched it and I was sort of surprised because they were more like Frasier and Niles Crane. In fact, they loved ” Frasier ” because  for some weird reason they saw themselves in those characters and they weren’t even 10 years old yet. No kidding, they LOVED that show to bits, so their gut rolling laughter during Malcolm sort of surprised me.

I couldn’t figure out what they saw in it. On top of that they were always changing the channel during the show so I thought it they liked it but they didn’t love it.

Years and years later they told me the reason they thought the show was hilarious was that they thought I was EXACTLY like Lois the Mom and that’s what they found so HILARIOUS. I mean somebody who reminded them of their bossy at times scary Mom was on TV and the entire world was laughing at her. However they did say that they were afraid I’d catch on to the joke and have a ” Lois reaction “, so that’s why they always changed the channel when I walked into the room.

Sometimes I go back and watch Malcolm on line and I watch Lois in her glory and I have to face it- my boys had it right. I couldn’t be more proud.