I, Anita Marie, take you 2017 to be my Brand Spanking New Year.
In the presence of the Blogosphere I offer you my solemn vow to not compare you to 2016 . I promise to put no other year above you. To you 2017 I do swear with all of my heart to keep my New Years Resolutions and to perform them joyfully.
” I’ll bet that’s what you tell all of the years you shameless hussy “
On the day after Christmas, the first thing to pop into my head when I open my eyes is ” Now what. ”
Since October I’ve been writing with the long dark nights as inspiration- I’ve been channeling surfing on the radio ( yes, I use a radio ) listening for different takes on Christmas Carols, I’ve gone on line looking for holiday sweaters and when I walk my dog I look for places where I can take pictures of him with holiday decorations in the background.
Now all I have to look forward to is the Spring.
Spring is the time of year when there is too much light, I wear clothes that look awful on me because Spring colors are pale and pasty and trimmed with delicate things like lace or eensy weensy flowers and itsy bitsy buttons.
I am not a pasteley person who likes to wear prints with weensy flowers and stupid delicate buttons that whisper ‘ Spring ‘
When Spring rolls around the shadows roll back and I feel like exposed and clunky and out of place. When I see bottles of sunblock show up on store shelves I want to do what Scrooge suggested with a little twist:
“If I could work my will,” said Scrooge indignantly, “Every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!”
Scrooge” A Christmas Carol.”
I want to bury that bottle of Sunblock in the heart of the first person who babbles on about needing the Sun and how they don’t feel alive unless they’re out sweating under a bright blazing Sun and they break out their sunglasses to- funny enough – keep the Sun out of their eyes.
The world after Christmas is a boring one.
Blah, blah, blah, I’ve been so cold, blah, blah, blah I hate the dark, whine, whine, whine , I need the Sun.
Not EVERBODY does.
So in our retail driven culture we now zip through holidays and with that we think we can zip through the Seasons too.
I think there’s an app for that now.
Devil take it all
I quit the Human Race.
So now that I am bound to be forced into an early Spring, I guess that this year I will wear lots and lots of black. I’ll wear my sunglasses indoors and cry about all of this awful light and remind my Sun Worshipping Friends of all the diseases they can get from tanning themselves and how the Pharaoh Akhenaten worshipped the Sun too and how his people turned on him for it ( Ok, I played with the details a bit, but it’s close enough to make my point ).
I am a Spring Scrooge.
I have no use for soft breezes and sun dappled streams and sitting under an umbrella drinking coffee ( someone needs to explain that to me) when it’s 80 degrees out.
Keep Spring in your way- and here keep mine too. I don’t want it. And may you both end up looking like over done microwaved hot dogs.
First of all I learned that in the Consumer Universe I am a novice, a beginner, I am without the survival skills one needs to compete in the shopping aisles on the day after Christmas.
People were mean and hostile- they road raged with shopping carts and a few of them were talking to their kids in a way I wouldn’t have talked to my own dog. My sister gave me her shopping cart and I hid at the end of an aisle were there weren’t any sale signs and tried to not make eye contact with the shoppers who strayed into such areas.
I did buy a couple of things- and when I was done I all but ran for the safety of my Sister’s car.
” Those people scared me.” said I- the former Mortician’s Apprentice, the writer of macabre, the woman who used to sit in the basement of a columbarium because it was warm down there and quiet.
” They are scary Anita. ” said my sister in a whisper. ” They are very, very scary. I should know. I do this all of the time.”
I backed away from my Sister and I was careful to not look her in the eye.
Next year I think I’ll stay home and skip the trip to the store. That experience unnerved me and no one should have to feel that kind of fear with ” Frosty The Snowman ” playing endlessly from a two dollar Christmas card ( half off ) hidden on a picked over shelf of discounted Christmas Decorations.