Me and My Shadows

RDP Thursday – LONELY

Last Thursday I was laid off from work- so on Friday I took Governor Inslee’s stay at home orders to heart.

I started out last Friday under my first   official ‘ Day 1 ‘ under Stay At Home orders.

Until that Thursday I had been deemed part of an the Essential Work force and was taking a train in and out of Seattle. Because of that I worked under the assumption I was dealing with people who carried the contagion or that I was carrying it myself- so I took all of the guidelines for being out in public very seriously.

However, because I didn’t fall into a category to be tested I wasn’t sure if I had the Coronavirus- or if what had bothered me for a few weeks back in February were my allergies or as  I felt- I had a touch of the flu.

I’m good about getting flu shots so when I felt a little under the weather I thought maybe what I had been vaccinated against was trying to get me, but couldn’t get a grip on me ( take that ya nasty bug! )

My nose wouldn’t stop running ( I’m serious, it was like a faucet that wouldn’t stop running and if I put my head down or looked down- it was embarrassing. It was like incontinence of the face.)  All I wanted to do was sleep and food had lost all of it’s magic for me. It all tasted so blah. I thought it was because of my allergies.

During that time I would be at work going about my business or at home watching tv and then all of the sudden I would feel like I was burning up.

Allergies-maybe menopause? Didn’t know. I just popped some Ibuprofen opened a window put on a tee-shirt and within twenty minutes I felt fine- but it would happen again a few days later and that went on for almost two weeks.

The thing is, my allergies have never had symptoms like that before and I never got hot flashes tied to my menopause symptoms during the day.

But what else could it have been?

I still don’t know.

So within this last week  felt like I got to hit the reset button and now I can pay attention to my health.

I feel like Dr Frankenstein- doing experiments in secret with Lucifer looking over my shoulder( actually he does ), I have a print of Lucifer by Van Stuck hanging above my fireplace and I write under it.

The monster I am trying to create? Am I experimenting on myself?

We’ll see. I’ll probably end up writing about it.

The problem is, my worst imaginings are getting a run for their money right now.

Lucifer and Co
Photo By A.M. Moscoso


Above It All

RDP Sunday — HANG ON

On the cloudiest, stormiest most brutal days – above it all  is an improbably  blue sky and past that are the heavens and it is still full of stars and planets.

It’s all STILL there.

No matter how lonely or alone or cut off from the world you feel right now…remember that.


PHOTO A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Photo of Hamish Macbeth by A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Five Minutes

It can cleanse you and refresh you

it can hold you in a silky  lover’s embrace

cradle you like a new born baby in your Mother and Father’s arms

but if you go under and can’t break free

it will destroy your brain after 5 minutes.


Photo A.M,. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Photo A.M. Moscoso



RDP Friday – Annoying

Photo by mohamed Abdelgaffar on

The short and the sweet of it is- I don’t like Bernie Sanders. I haven’t since Thomas Hartman rammed him into my ears on a segment he aired called ” Brunch With Bernie” – and he billed him as ” America’s Senator” .


When the show started and the love fest began I’d give it a few minutes and turn change it to another station. So yes I did listen but not much of what Bernie said spoke to my issues and I didn’t really learn anything because what he would spin was getting spun at the Democratic meetings I attended and at least when people rode those ponies they didn’t drone on and on and on and they put some passion into their arguments.

So now Bernie is running for President ( again )  and some of my Progressive friends are hard at it for Sanders.

And God help you if you aren’t a Berner.

They will show up on your FB page and flame you for daring NOT to support the man who MLK marched with ( yeah I turned it around on purpose because  it’s all about how Bernie was THERE then anything else with them ) They will flame you and demand to know what kind of monster are you for not wanting Health Care, or clean water and Education for us all!

Listen to them, they will tell you how to vote because obviously if you are supporting Biden or Warren or anybody else except for Bernie then you my friend are a danger to yourself and everyone around you.

Well guess what.

I was actually THIS close to voting for Bernie in the Primary. Some of his ideas are pretty good and I liked them. He grew on me- a little.

Then my friends- and I’m not talking sort of friends who troll around my Facebook page to make sure I support Bernie- but my real world friends went off the rails just before Nevada and they pretty much stayed there afterwords.

It’s like the Election was over and the White House was Bernie’s.

I started to see these messages about how Berners were going to fight for us all- no matter who we supported- we were being forgiven I guess for being Uppity and for our serious transgressions.

The most heinous was not supporting Bernie of course.

I get what they actually meant, but  the message I got was, ” It’s okay, we will be fair, kind … benevolent, we are going to fight for YOU, now say it.

Say you feel the Bern.

I am so sick of the Berners that if Bernie is on the ballot for the General Election I’ll probably write in my dog ( I live in a Blue state and it’s going to stay that way ) but the thing of it is this:

Lots of people love their dogs as much as I love mine-so who knows how many dogs could get votes instead of Bernie.

Enough to make a difference in my home state?  Who knows.

But seriously Berners, if you get ahead of Bernie and YOUR rabid, insane rants are the face of the campaign I predict  many dogs will get votes for President.

At least mine will get one.

Photo by Crypto Crow on




With You Always

She was broken,

we were broken

she meant nothing to me at all

in the end

he said sadly through a cloud of smoke

to his hot Mama, the Goddess

his true love

on the night of his final betrayal.


And they lived happily ever after

until she came back

from the dead and tracked the dirt they buried her in

right up







Alas Poor Mr Snowball, We Knew You Not

Hamish Macbeth’s toys from Barkbox arrived as usual, but this time I couldn’t find the box cutter so it took me awhile to open it.

Hamish Macbeth could smell the chimken and peanut butter cookies, he cried he begged…open the box oh please! But it’s safety first so I took my time. I use using a box cutter after all.

Hamish Macbeth was not happy.

I put the box on the floor and he grabbed one toy and ran to the backroom, jumped on the bed and killed the Snowball toy.

As you will see, he considered his actions before he tore the tag off of Mr Snowball’s head but there was no stopping him in the end.

He had a point to prove to the other toys.

“Fair is foul, and foul is fair.”

(Macbeth Act 1 Scene 1)


“There’s daggers in men’s smiles.”

(Macbeth Act II, Scene III)

Photo A.M. Moscoso

“Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.”  

( Macbeth Act 1, Scene 4 )

Photo A.M. Moscoso

“By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.”  

 ( Macbeth Act 1 Scene 4 )

Photo A.M. Moscoso

Performed By Hamish Macbeth RDP Goodbye on My Enduring Bones.