Linda G Hill’s Prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “Growth.”
Over the past year I have learned somethings about myself- because when you are in lockdown you can either make it an effort to learn something new everyday or you can hang around in your favorite fleece ( pajamas ) outfits and curse people out on facebook all day long.
I chose to learn, not because I like learning but I hate facebook so there is that.
This is what I learned.
I learned who my friends are. I learned that there are people in my life who care about me and that there are ( were ) people in my life who literally did not care if I died. I mean it. Died as in wrapped in plastic and laying on a shelf in a morgue.
The beauty of it is, they’ve been popping up in my stories here and the people I really found myself thoroughly disgusted with starred my highest traffic stories.
I also learned that my Christmas card list this year is going to be a lot shorter so I will save on postage . Actually I consider that a big effing PLUS because now I can buy fancier ( more expensive ) cards.
I guess I owe them some thanks.
Thank you .
I’ve also learned that going to the Symphony was a bigger deal to me then I realized.
Every season I’d buy my tickets, I’d buy new outfits, I’d go out of dinner and then I would go shopping and expand my CD collection because I’d go to the lectures before the performances and that was a great place to pick up info on composers who influenced the music I was about to hear that night.
It was just something I did because I loved that entire experience.
What I learned was at the heart of it, what I actually enjoyed was that moment the lights went down and the audience and the musicians took a collective breath and with that first note it felt like we were being lifted up and that we flew away- together.
It was magical.
That is what I actually loved and what I actually loved- that one little moment.
I can’t say that over the year I blossomed and found inner peace and that I only eat organic food now ( though I did stop eating beef ). Much like the two faced jerks I let wander around my life like dandelion floating across a well groomed lawn, I learned that beef wasn’t really necessary plus it’s expensive and cost me a lot.
There are seven more months left in this year and it would be a safe guess to say I just want to get it over with.
But what I learned after having 2020 stolen from a lot of us- and the previous three before it for the rest of us is this:
I’m sorry I gritted my teeth and just powered through them. I wish I had lived them more fully.
I won’t make that mistake again, I consider it a lesson learned.
I followed all the rules during the shut down, I kept following them when we went up a phase and some of us were lucky enough to have jobs to go back to.
There was one thing I did not do and it really upset me.
The one thing I did not do was wear the scary, macabre masks- like this one
or this one
Why you might ask.
Well. That’s simple.
Because EVERYONE was wearing them, plus there was no sport in trying to scare people who were already scared or primed for more horrors to come.
So I did not wear my skull face scarf mask during the winter and I did not break out my plague doctor mask ( you made these work by wearing a surgical mask under them, but they aren’t comfortable to wear without the surgical mask so I gave it a hard pass).
But now I am super excited because at the end of June Washington state opens back up and as of now fully vaccinated people can opt out of wearing masks in most places.
Do you know what THAT means?
Oh yes baby, your Lil’ Grim one from My Enduring Bones gets to go back to her spooky looking masks and scarves… how BODACIOUS is this! Bring on June 30th…I’m ready!