I don’t hold grudges.
I cradle them, feed them, I take them out to play when the sun is shining
and I make them hot chocolate on cold, icy wintry days.
If you simply hold a grudge.
you will have to exorcise them
but you won’t have to if you care for your grudges like I do.
I hold him
close to my heart
he is always beside
we are never apart and
his name is Brady Breyfogle.
Sometimes Brady Breyfogle
bears thoughts and prayers
to people the I loved,
to the people who said they cared
about me
once upon a time.
Brady and I chat and laugh
we sing and write and walk my dog
and sometimes we have to remind ourselves
to cry when we are sad and laugh when we are happy
and to feel sorrow when someone is hurt
or dies.
Brady is my shadow, the air in my lungs
the blood that moves through my veins
he forces my heart to beat
and he grows the thoughts that take root in
my brain into nightmares and dreams
that follow me after I’m awake.
Brady Breyfogle
isn’t an idea, or a demon or a grudge
that escaped from a tomb, or a grave
from cemetery with a rusted fence and no name.
Brady Breyfogle knows this world
and he knows every street, every home
every voice and face, every second that crawls by
and he belongs to me and to me alone.
Until that is, he decides not to be.
