To Transylvania And Beyond!

Ballerina Fireman Astronaut Movie Star

When you were 10, what did you want to be when you grew up? What are you now? Are the two connected?

What did I want to be when I was 10?

Oh pshaw on that… I knew what I wanted to do for a living when I was 6 years old.

I wanted to fly my own space ship.

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I wanted to Invade Alien worlds- I wanted to get into dog fights with other spaceships and I wanted to steal their stuff…indeed I guess what I wanted to be was a Pirate.

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But after falling in love with Captain Kirk I tapped that back and decided I would rather explore Alien Worlds.

Alas, what true love can do to a Warrior’s Dark Soul with just one gentle look.

I’ll be honest though.

When I promised to be a ‘good guy’ I had my fingers crossed behind my back.

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I also decided, at age six that I wanted to live in Transylvania, maybe kill a monster or two ( though my sympathies changed after I became a Vincent Price devotee ) who probably lived somewhere near my castle where I would dock my spaceship .

For some reason  was positive that Witches and Vampires wanted to steal my Spaceship. I can’t explain why, it’s just an idea I had.

I wasn’t sure how you could dock a spaceship over a castle so I came up with a plan.

I had decided I could make an  anchor and chain out of the remains of the spaceships I had destroyed in my battles- I just knew I’d be really really good at doing  that so the chain and anchor would be really, really long.

I figured my super nice husband couldn’t follow me around all day because he had to go exploring- probably on the other side of the Universe where I wouldn’t be and I could rob other spaceships and he’d never know what his wife was up too.

When we would leave for work in the morning and saying goodbye I could see that chain  leading up to my spaceship and my husband telling me to have a good day.

And I’d laugh and say I sure would.

I was such a rotten kid.

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I never joined NASA, or the Army or The Hell’s Angels.

I actually worked in Funeral Home and I was a Musician. I traveled and I kept doing what I had started to do soon after I learned to read.

I’m a writer now.

I think my life plans that I came up with when I was six years old taught me a lot for what I would go on to do as I got older.

I learned to be daring, I learned to think outside the box and that anything  in life is possible for better or worse.

That doesn’t sound promising- it’s a loosey goosey way to go about life

but one thing you could count on- it could be a lot of fun.

And it has been.

pulsar

Buried Alive

Bloggers, Unplugged

Sometimes, we all need a break from these little glowing boxes. How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

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I’ve been known to unplug my phone because I do believe it’s dangerous and I don’t know how to put it down and leave it down.

I use it as a way to avoid people, unwanted conversations and to look at pictures of my dog, Hamish Macbeth.

I like to do that whenever I’m in a rotten mood- which for the most part is most of the time  since my dogs died a couple of years ago- followed by family members and a friend.

Hamish Macbeth makes me smile.

And of course Facebook lives on my phone, it’s taken possession of my phone it probably needs an Exorcism.

My brother told me just to kill the App.

But I just can’t do it.

Māra

When  it comes to my laptop, how do I unplug from that?

Well, that’s simple.

I don’t.

I write on my laptop, I listen to music on my laptop  I actually work on it and for the most part it  aides me in my writing.

Plus my handwriting looks like I’m armless and probably hold a pen in my mouth so I don’t keep handwritten journals- which is a shame.

But there are times when I travel- and on all of those trips I take my laptop with me.

Stories have popped into my head when I’ve heard a name or caught a scent of food or rotted wood and I need to sit down and get it out because when that happens I don’t get part of the story- I get all of it.

So I have to be ready to go.

I love to write, I love to see what other people are writing and sometimes I like to go looking for pictures to use on my blog and in doing that I run across all sorts of cool information.

Like once I learned that there this forest in Japan infamous for the number of suicides that are committed there.

What happens there is very specific- people hang themselves there from the trees.

Sometimes they overdose.

But for the most part:

They hang themselves.

From the trees.

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I’m not sure I’d ever write about Aokigahara, but it’s story has creeped into my bones and I’m sure that one day it will find it’s way out again,

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Once it occurred to me that if my Laptop were alive, it must feel like it’s living in a nightmare it can’t wake up from.

The stuff I write and the things I save on it are pretty morbid so I almost unplugged from it once because that thought came out of nowhere and it bothered me.

But I got over it.

It probably has too.

Maybe.

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Just A Taste…

Humble Pie

Tell us about a time you found out after the fact that you’d been mistaken and you had to eat a serving of humble pie.

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Hmmm, how do I answer this…when the last time I ate Humble Pie or had it very nearly  rammed down my throat with a backhoe?

I have chosen to live a life where being right is ALL THAT MATTERS, WINNING ALWAYS MATTERS, IF YOU ARE WRONG THEN DIE! DIE! DIE!

There is no coming back from being wrong  in the Universe I live in.

Pronounce a word wrong…nose slap, wear the wrong color, shame on you! Support the wrong candidate- OMG if you lose  you have to show up on your knees on election night and apologize for being such an idiot for NOT SEEING THE LIGHT.

So when do I not eat Humble Pie?

When I’m right.

When am I right?

Hardly ever.

Do I ‘fess up?

Well….

When you are surrounded by people who need to be right at all costs and you will never win  and frankly it doesn’t really matter anymore  so you spend a lot of your time smooshed on the road to Self Righteous and Smug all you can do two things:

Laugh.

Or Laugh Hysterically.

I’ll be damned if I eat anything I don’t want to.

So when was the last time I ate Humble Pie?

I fucking don’t.

Aren’t I The Lucky One?

The Luckiest People

Who was the first person you encountered today? Write about him or her.

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I don’t mind catching the bus to work early in the morning.

It’s quiet, most of my fellow bus commuters are either asleep or on their phones or pretending to sleep so they don’t have to talk to the  person they’re sitting next to.

That’s fine with me.

But at my bus stop there is this person who thinks, I kid you not, that I am mentally disabled.

She’s mentioned it to the other people- who are actually friends of mine from the neighborhood  that ” The ” brown lady ”  is nice but sort of-” and then she taps the side of her head and says ” not very bright.”

I had noticed she’ll ask me a question and then answer it before I’m done. She talks really loud and slow and if anyone asks me a question directly she’ll answer it.

I couldn’t figure out what was going on, but my next door neighbor told me because she was going on about my obvious lack of intelligence and they were creeped out by it.

Eventually they stated getting to the stop just before the bus showed up to avoid talking to her.

That’s why, I learned I was alone with her so much.

So that’s usually the first person I see when I leave the house in the morning. She’s the first person I have to say ” hello” and ” good morning ” to.

A person who thinks I’m mentally retarded and will tell anyone who will listen to about the Retarded Lady she catches the bus with.

Beat that world.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Teach Your (Bloggers) Well

We all know how to do something well — write a post that teaches readers how to do something you know and/or love to do.

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It’s not something I like to do.

But I do it very well.

The down side is,  if there’s a Hell for people who kill innocent houseplants, I’m going there one day and there ain’t no saving me from it.

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It wouldn’t be so bad if I had stopped at the first Venus Fly trap and Jade plants I murdered, but I went out and continued  to buy one after the other and in no time at all they’d be dead.

I’m a serial plant killer.

I had certain kinds of plants I’d prefer and never bought any other kind and I even escalated, got sloppy and I’d go to a nursery and buy a random plant- sometimes a couple of them and in a month they’d be gone.

I hid their remains in a compost heap and they’d end up in my Herb Garden.

My Herb Garden not only thrived- at one point it took over most of the front yard. I suspect my Herb Garden was like my partner in crime.

And it benefitted from my bad behavior.

No doubt about that.

I never harvested anything from that garden.

Had I cut any of those plants I’m sure that it would NOT have been appreciated.

I’m sure that would have cost me.

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Do I really want you to do what I do?

Go out and kill innocent house plants?

No, of course I don’t want that but I can’t stop you from trying.

Just do me and my Herb Garden a favor.

Stay out of our yards and we’ll stay out of yours.

We don’t need the competition.

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It’s A Haunting Thought

I Can’t Stay Mad at You

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

Onryō from the Kinsei-Kaidan-Simoyonohoshi

Onryō from the Kinsei-Kaidan-Simoyonohoshi

Anyone can forgive, some people can forget. I’m no exception to that.

Hold a Grudge though?

You bet- until the day I die.

Maybe even beyond that day.

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I have this theory- when we wrong somebody we create a monster. It lives in the head and heart of  the person you hurt until there is no head or heart for it to live inside.

When that place is gone,  it goes looking for a new home, something dark and fetid and familiar. It goes back to  it’s creator because there’s no place like home, is there?

It doesn’t matter what God you fall on your knees and pray to, it doesn’t matter if your conive or con forgiveness for the pain you caused.

It’s going to come home to you eventually in all of it’s glory.

I guess that’s holding a grudge in a big way, but you reap what you sow- and if you’ve sown a Wicked Garden, poison plants are what you harvest.

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When I’m long gone I guess I’ll come back as one of those Ghosts with unfinished business- looking to right the wrongs I feel I suffered in life.

I know, I know, wouldn’t I like to let it go and rest in peace. Wouldn’t I like to join my loved ones who have gone on before me?

Well sure.

But in theory I have all eternity to spend with them.

So that means I have all the time in the world to settle a few scores, right a few wrongs.  I’m sure there a few basements and attics, closets with screaming hinges and dark corners just waiting for me to take up residence.

So the answer is yes:

I do hold grudges and I look forward to working through them with anyone who goes there with me …one at a time…for as long as it takes.

ladyinblack

Language Language Missy!

Non-Regional Diction

Write about whatever you’d like, but write using regional slang, your dialect, or in your accent.

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I Learn A New Non-Language and the results are not stellar:

( Via Text)

Me: Are you going to  do the writing prompt?

FB: what

ME: What?

FB: IDK.

ME: I thought you said you wanted to try your hand at doing some writing.

FB: wink

ME:  I don’t get it, are you going to write or not?

FB: smile

ME: Come on. Seriously are you going to do the prompts or not?

FB: I said yes. Did you not get my messages?

ME: I got a bunch of smiley faces. You might want to reconsider the writing thing if that’s how you’re going about doing it.

FB: Oh. You’re so funny. Everyone talks with these things now. It’s like sign language.

ME: Oh. I get it. Like this? gif

FB: Um.

ME: Oh. Gee. I guess I should study up on this new language before I doing anymore writing. It’s obvious I’m out of touch. Just let me bash my head against the wall for a few hours and I’ll ….

brb

Dear Holiday Buzzzzz Killerz

Straight up, I want to make it clear the ‘WAR ON CHRISTMAS’ is a bunch of hooey.

But there is an attitude out there that needs to be called out and I’m here to  do it:

 I would dearly appreciate if those among us who have appointed themselves the “Keepers of The Calendars” would just step back and let people enjoy the holiday in whichever way the Spirit moves them.

If people want to put up their Christmas Trees on Thanksgiving, STFU and let them put up their tree and keep your bony fingers OUT from under their noses.

If they want to Deck the Halls before December 1st how’s about YOU just letting them make things a little more cheerful for themselves and THEIR friends and family without YOU shooting your mouth off and ruining their fun?

In case you haven’t noticed- times are hard people have a lot to be sad about for different reasons, especially at this time of the year. So if they’ve found a way to celebrate would you FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS THAT SPARKLE LET THEM.

And before you go on a screed about when people should go shopping and why they’re working on YOUR HOLIDAY SCHEDULE  may I suggest you take a look at their bank accounts or ask then what’s going on in their lives before you slam ” shaming posts” all over social media about their bad behavior.

Some of you would make Scrooge blush and Dickens would probably sit there with his pen in hand and his brain would short-circuit because how do you capture a mean spirited Holiday shamer in ink? Hell. You’d have Stephen King and Clive Barker in tears and NOT in a good way.

So dammit, read a Christmas Carol, watch the movie the cartoon whatever- but I think that  Scrooge is alive and well in your heart and I’m pretty sure he’d rather NOT be.

Even Scrooge learned to have fun during the holidays-

Word.

amm

scrooge

Do Not Open Until Christmas

A Tale of Two Cities

If you could split your time evenly between two places, and two places only, which would these be?


There are two places that have always captured my imagination , two places I would go to in a heartbeat if there was a way.

I know, I know- if you really want something you have to at least try to get there, you have to take the chance, make the leap or  you will for sure  never make it and the regret you feel will haunt you to your grave.

But in my defense unless Doctor Who like technology shows up in my lifetime ( though it doesn’t matter because technically he could show up after I die or before, time travel is like that)  I won’t get to go to these places.

I want to be there One Minute before the Big Bang happens

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and I want to be there one minute after the Universe dies.

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Crazy right?

Well, there’s a reason for it.

I want to see the calm before the storm, I want to know what it felt like when everything in the Universe was a ‘singularity’ (‘singularity’  I’ve learned,  is a fancy way of saying, we don’t know).

Maybe that is the time when ‘we’ were all one with life and death and God and the Devil.

Personally, I think it hated that situation so  much it blew itself apart because I’m willing to bet those four elements drove each other insane- and that could account for at least one effed up planet.

And as for the minute after- wouldn’t you like to see the sum of creation? It started here and ended up there. What gets left behind?

Does the Universe sigh in relief because its quiet at last? Scream because it’s going to have to go through it all again one day?

What happens at the moment life winks out?

I’ve sat with friends and family and pets at the moment they passed. One minute they’re there and the next they’re gone. And that void that comes right after they’ve left-  it wraps itself around you like a cold pair of arms and you could swear everything around you went dark. In reality I think the darkness is inside of you and it clouds your vision and all of your other senses.

It just looks that way.

And I wonder:

Is that what happens in that minute after the Universe dies?

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I ‘m not 100% sure-  but I’d like to see it for myself.

And who knows a minute before, a minute after- maybe that memory will live forever.

Even if nothing else does.

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