Malvina Moray did not meet the Devil on a eerie moonlit night.
Malvina met the Devil just in front of her house just before dusk where she was standing and calling her cat, Prixie.
” Hey there Malvina, ” the Devil said as he strolled up to the gate and said for the hundredth or maybe it was the millionth time ” thought about that offer of mine?” The Devil leaned against the long wooden fence that ran along Malvina Moray’s property. ” It’s a good one. My deal that is. Probably the best I’ve ever offered anyone.”
” Prixie! ” she called ” Time for dinner! Come on Prixie!”
The Devil stomped his foot- which was not a hoof of a foot in a black leather boot. The Devil was wearing dress shoes, of course. ” Look. See it my way Malvina. You’re meaner then a swarm of bees, you ooze malevolence the way other people ooze sweat. Sweet Baby Jesus Malvina, you have a dozen people you killed with your bare hands at the bottom of your well in your backyard. You gotta come and work for me. You’re like a the Captain of My Dream Team.”
” I do just fine on my own.” she said with – oh this made the Devil almost cry, she said this with so much pride it floated up like a black cloud over their heads.
” That’s obvious Malvina. Look. You sign on with me and I can make you the most powerful witch ever.” The Devil looked up searching for what more he could possible offer Malvina that she didn’t have already, ” Well, you’ll have more Power and youth and…”
Prixie wondered up at this point and wrapped her tail around the Devil’s leg and he jumped up and almost on top of the wooden fence when he looked down and saw her.
Prixie was a giant white fluffy cat with a pink collar and she was wearing a cat little wings made from peach taffeta. ” Damn Malvina, you need a black cat.”
” Prixie smothers people in their sleep. She’s up to eight now. That’s one a year. Get one of your cats to top that.”
The Devil dropped to the ground, he fell to his knees, he wrapped his arms around Malvina’s legs and sobbed. ” Please. Please come work for me. If you won’t. I don’t know. Marry me. Malvina, you’re the most perfect creature ever.”
Malvina picked his hands from off her legs and pushed him back. ” Be a Witch? Seriously? Be one of your little minions running around naked in the woods and eating babies by moonlight? Why do all of that when I can go to the beach, eat sushi and caramel apples and be as evil and wicked as I want and not have to be at your beck and call?”
The Devil sprung up to his feet. ” You can’t freelance forever Malvina. Sooner or later you’ll have to sign on with me. You have no choice. Not with your track record.”
Malvina picked Prixie up and buried her face in her soft fluffy fur.
” Well. ” she said into the puff of white.
” No. No! Are you kidding me?” The Devil covered his face with his hands.
” He offered me a better deal. I do what I want and I don’t make deals with you. He said that would tick you off. Plus. he said it’d be a laugh. And do you know what? It really is.”
Malvina Moray did not meet and beat the Devil on a dark and spooky moonlit night- she meant him in her front yard- and her cat Prixie was with her.