The Devil Made Me Do It

Resolved

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution that you kept?

hell

Oh sure I’ve kept my New Years Resolutions.

I can’t believe I wrote that with a straight face.

This is how it works with me: I make a list of things I didn’t do the previous year and I drag it with me into the New Year because I love pain and despair and that feeling of bone crushing defeat that’s brought about by not being able to follow through on something that I really wanted to do ( eye roll).

I want to make sure that no matter what-  that I repeat the same failures from the old year because in my own special way I am consistent ( snicker, snort ). Oh. And they will be failures because if they were do-able I wouldn’t have to be pushing that boulder into the next year.

 I keep those little thorns in my side in journals and on blogs – captured in ink or cyberspace where they will live forever within a legion of bad ideas.

On the practical side, I think we should call those lists ” Ways to keep the stress going after a Holiday Season “.

I can’t think of any reason for making them- unless- hey this will work:

The Devil Made Me Do It.

stuck

 And while we’re on the topic of lists, can we do away with the term ” Bucket List “.

I know that it’s much snazzier to say that then ” Things To Do Before I Die ” but geeze guys- that is SO morbid.

And nobody appreciates all things Morbid like I do.

So instead of having a list of Things To Do Before I’m Dead- call it something else.

Just say:

Gone Living.

Be Back Soon.

wpid-0c243905c415469f32d624a6a249fa6f.jpg