WRITERS EXERCISE: A Line In Deed
[you’ll probably recognize the tune soon enough…]
Zombies with leg cramps
and Werewolves with itches
Vampires with toothaches
and Witches with sniffles
Halloween sounds pretty cool
unless you’re a monster coming down with the flu.
When the ghosts cry
and the bats fly
and the tombs open wide
We’ll just bundle up
and snack on a corpse
and try it again….
Next Year.
There is an app for everything now.
Trying to find your way to- geeze I don’t know, does anyone go anywhere anymore? Anyway if you do want to go somewhere an app will tell you how to reach your destination quickly it will tell you which route to take and it will remind you to breathe and blink.
Just kidding, there isn’t an app for that.
Yet.
With an app you can even find love, sex, heaven to Betsy you can even find ghosts!
Want to avoid human contact when you are out in public? There’s an app for that- you can play games, look up FAQs about other apps- in a pinch you can hop on the YELP app and give a bad review to a business you’ve never been too.
Its punkish thing to do, but you know until there’s an app to rid your personal space of other living creatures, what other options do you have?
However if you are above cheap stunts and you want to actually learn something , you can explore Space with an app. There’s a few of those that are pretty impressive and the kicker is you never have to actually look up to the sky when you use it.
Apps are magical things and at times they almost seem alive.
Apps care for us and obey us. They’re like a loyal dog that you don’t have to feed or clean up after or walk. They don’t shed or try to hump the neighbor’s leg.
Most of all with our apps we can each be a member of the most exclusive club in the world where it’s lone member is not only the brightest star in the heavens, but the only star- the most loved star showered with all the blessings and gifts the Gods have to offer.
Apps, hold us safe, sound, and firmly in Non-existent hands.
#FOWC
I love to listen to people talk, I love to hear their stories, I really enjoy watching people paint pictures with words because I’m a writer and to be honest I’m always on the hunt for snapshots that I can file away and dig out when I’m writing
and I do that, a lot.
The thing is, since FB and cellphones and emojis I think that people are losing their ability to have actual conversations and listening to some people isn’t much fun or even interesting anymore.
Part of the reason I feel this way are because of these two over used , vomit inducing expressions:
The first is Whatnot.
People use this phrase when there are just to many words to choose from so they make you decide which ones to choose because life is just so hectic and saving time is the name of the game.
” Well. I like all those shoes and whatnot “
” I binged watch Netflix and whatnot and then I ordered pizza”
” It took me 20 minutes longer and whatnot because the traffic was bad.”
Sure I can fill in the blanks for every “whatnot” you drop on me. But when I do, in my head I’m going to replace your voice with the one that I imagine my cat would have if he could talk ( just to make things interesting ).
I’m pretty sure he’d toss a few extra words my way to make his point because my cat is all about making himself understood. Cats are like that.
Anyway, when I hear “whatnot” this is what it feels like and to a degree sounds like ( when I forget to queue my cat’s voice )
And then there’s blah, blah, blah.
People pop those words in when they’re repeating a conversation and they really want to drive home the fact that the other person is a fool and stupid and what they said was meaningless and not important to the point that the person telling you their story is making.
Look, get out your cell phone or go to a mirror and say, ‘blah blah blah’
Not a pretty picture is it.
Do yourself a favor and drop blah, blah, blah from your lexicon.
Wow.
That was a rant wasn’t it?
But not one without some merit.
amm