There is an app for everything now.
Trying to find your way to- geeze I don’t know, does anyone go anywhere anymore? Anyway if you do want to go somewhere an app will tell you how to reach your destination quickly it will tell you which route to take and it will remind you to breathe and blink.
Just kidding, there isn’t an app for that.
With an app you can even find love, sex, heaven to Betsy you can even find ghosts!
Want to avoid human contact when you are out in public? There’s an app for that- you can play games, look up FAQs about other apps- in a pinch you can hop on the YELP app and give a bad review to a business you’ve never been too.
Its punkish thing to do, but you know until there’s an app to rid your personal space of other living creatures, what other options do you have?
However if you are above cheap stunts and you want to actually learn something , you can explore Space with an app. There’s a few of those that are pretty impressive and the kicker is you never have to actually look up to the sky when you use it.
Apps are magical things and at times they almost seem alive.
Apps care for us and obey us. They’re like a loyal dog that you don’t have to feed or clean up after or walk. They don’t shed or try to hump the neighbor’s leg.
Most of all with our apps we can each be a member of the most exclusive club in the world where it’s lone member is not only the brightest star in the heavens, but the only star- the most loved star showered with all the blessings and gifts the Gods have to offer.
Apps, hold us safe, sound, and firmly in Non-existent hands.