Life In Toilet Town


Gertrude Abercrombie, Pink Carnations, 1939

Before Covid-19 hit, I was in the process of rebuilding my life in a city that is still stuck, architecturally speaking, in the 90’s and despite the fact we are less then 40 miles from Seattle  a lot of people around here affect a southern accent and drive Bro-Dozer pickup trucks.

In the Covid- Influenced world we live in now,  the city where I am a resident is as colorless and boring  as ever. That is something I did not think was possible, but  here we are.

I moved Toilet Town to be closer to my family and I have to say  that decision wasn’t one of my brightest ideas. In fact, it was pretty freaking stupid. With work and the lockdown I don’t see my family anymore then I did when I lived 40 miles away.

Just to clarify- I call this place Toilet Town because it’s full of S*&!.  It’s political leanings are crappy, the two movie theatres are crappy and it’s cultural center is WalMart. It’s actually a suburb full cookie cutter houses and in other areas those houses would be nice. Dated in a boring era, but nice.

So to improve  my POV I walk my dog in the neighborhood we live in ( ugh ) to absorb the fact that sure, I’m here. No getting around that. Blindly hating  Toilet Town  won’t make Toilet Town less of a Toilet Town.

So instead of cursing the ground I walk on, I try to see the bright side and I have found somethings to feel positive about.

On some occasions you could say I was a team player.

There  is a sign a block over from my home that tells you which way to run in case Mount Rainer erupts. Personally if that Mountain really goes I doubt that running up a hill towards it is the best idea in the world. But more clever minds then mine came up with a plan complete with an escape route and the only plan I have is to say my prayers.

Anyway, I like that sign. It makes me laugh.

On some occasions I even smile at my neighbor who has a  ginormous Blue Lives Matter flag flying OVER the American flag in his tiny front yard.  Last Summer a Cold storage facilty went up in flames almost right across the street from where he lives and he was in the area where they told people to evacuate. I wasn’t in that zone and I didn’t have a Blue Lives Matter flag in my yard to protect me from the evils of the world.

Whew, lucky me.

I have never gone on social media to tell people not to eat at the diner where the owner said he would gun down Black Lives Matter Supporters if they messed with his building. Of course that guy is a tool, nobody was going to vandalize his building. But the the call went out far and wide ( without my help ) to not eat there after he shot his mouth off to the press.  He was convinced the supporters were showing up with the sole purpose of burning his building down and that he had a right to bang away in self defense.  But Karma is a sweet bitch and his business tanked during the shut downs. LOL.

It’s probably obvious my  efforts to rebuild and adjust my attitude to Toilet Town is built on a very fragile foundation.

Any little thing can shake it.

Sometimes I think I can make living in Toilet Town work and other times after I hear stories about local Anti Maskers on the news or some Bubba parks his Bro-Dozer  in such a way that nobody can use the parking spaces on eithert side of the vehicle, or some Chump wearing a Trump T-shirt gets on the train with  me I have fantasies about going home, grabbing my dog and running for my life-

uphill towards a lava spewing volcano if need be.