Today on my way home from work I was thinking about Wolfgang A Mozart-
not the composer.
Wolfie was a part of my family and he was with us for 17 years. He grew up with my sons. He stayed by my side ( and kittens who are less than a year old have better things to do than lay on your pillow and rub their little faces on your jaw for hours at a time) when I was suffering from bronchitis ( probably brought on by my eating habits) and had a terrible time trying to breathe.
When he died he passed from kidney failure and died in my arms.
The summer he died was the summer that all of that poisoned pet food was turning up and killing pets all over the country.
I was feeding Wolfie one of those brands because he was having trouble chewing and he loved that stuff so I switched him over to soft canned food- and shortly after his kidneys began to fail.
Before he died the Vet said that having a Necropsy was an option but to keep something in mind. Wolfie was almost 18 and something was going to give.
So when Wolfie died, he died at home in my arms at home and no I did not have the Necropsy done because I didn’t want to learn that I may have inadvertently killed my beloved Wolfie- literally -with kindness.
So when it comes close to the time ( it was August ) when Wolfie fell ill I start to grieve again ( he died in ’07).
And today on the way home from work I started to think about Wolfie and the tears just streamed out of my eyes and it was August 2007 again and the Vet was calling to tell me Wolfie was terminal and that I was going to lose him.
Today there was a young woman sitting next to me on the bus. She looked over at me, I looked out the window and after we had been riding together for about five minutes she reached into her bag and handed me a napkin and she said, ” here you go”
She said it with such kindness that I smiled. Dried my face and when I started to cry again I could without worrying what she thought( because without knowing the she was clearly empathetic ) and I could blow my nose.
I got off the bus before she did and when I got up she looked at me and she said, ” I hope you have a good evening.”
I smiled and thanked her.
Her simple act of kindness and that wish I have a good evening was a reminder that I COULD have a good evening.
And that’s when I saw her eyes were as blue as the brightest summer sky-just like Wolfie’s had been.