Remember the seven cardinal sins? You’re given the serious task of adding a new one to the list — another trait or behavior you find particularly unacceptable, for whatever reason. What’s sin #8 for you? Why?
I am Cupcake
from today until the world melts
you will put no food above me.
You will consume me with love, lust and passion
You will not set me aside for fear of GMO, or for fear of my calorie count.
You will know the wrath of Cake if you refuse to serve me in all ways such as at Holidays, Weddings, Funerals and Breakfast.
If you don’t walk with me in one hand and one of my brothers and sisters in the other a plague of Vegans will descend upon your house and take all the good stuff from your kitchen cupboards, your man caves and those drawers you think nobody looks into.
I’m a writer with a wild imagination, I judge a movie in part by how good the popcorn was, I love to have manicures and always get my nails done in shades of pink.
When I go to the symphony I have been known to wear my rock and roll clothes and sometimes I go Steampunk.
Homeless people asking me for change or sleeping in the doorway at my work don’t bother me but if you walk into me when you’re on the phone I’ll rip your liver out and feed it to my dog.
So I guess I have mini adventures, its hard to pick one interesting moment over another.
Like in Vegas I used to wait for my Mom and Sister to toddle off and I’d zip out of the casino to Freemont Street and I’d buy a deep fried snickers bar.
I’d cruise on back in my pink cats eyes sunglasses (it was dark out but I LOVE those shades) buzzing on a sugar high all the way back to the casino.
I’d win a little money and a few hours later I’d be back at the same place buying a deep fried twinkie.
To combat the sugar rush I’d buy some popcorn and go staggering back vowing to never eat that much junk food in one night again…oh but I did.
Often.
Now you might not think that’s a big adventure, but I do.
It involved pink cats eyes sunglasses, deep fried candy, gambling and drunk people everywhere.
And once I sat in this theatre where you can get free refills on popcorn- I added jelly beans to the popcorn, stretched my legs out and I don’t remember what the movie was- but that popcorn.
Ooo la la.
When I was in my twenties I had a bad reaction to the non-drowsy allergy medicine I was taking and my heart started racing so fast they pumped drugs into me to slow it down and when it didn’t they put me in the Cardiac Care Unit and basically waited for what was supposed to be a heart attack.
The crash cart was in my room with me.
I didn’t have a heart attack, it took a couple of days for my heart to go back to normal.
What I remember was that Little Richard was on TV and I was so glad because I love Little Richard. It took my mind off the fact a medical staff were waiting for my heart to stop.
That was pretty exciting.
By that I mean in a You’re Riding In A Roller Coaster and your seat belt breaks scary ( which did happen to me.)
So I could pick one of lots of moments I would consider fun and exciting.
But I’m afraid if I call it, nothing exciting will ever happen to me again.
So I’m going to keep my fingers crossed and hope things stay interesting.
