Boys don’t fart more then girls- which is bull because I raised three boys and they are Fart factories. I don’t care what science or Google say. It’s also a fact that girl farts smell like posies. I can say that because when girls fart we say so and given that guys seem to like Farts so much they agree. Also, they seem to enjoy it when we toot them out and pretty much give you a standing ovation-
Especially if it’s loud.
People write poems about Farts- but they stink. So I’m not posting them here.
Now here is a song that comes as close to explaining gas in the human body- actually it’s about bacteria but I love this song so I’m going to post it.
Wouldn’t want to hold it- doing that kind of thing can really hurt you.
is in front of a used bookstore called ” Mabel’s “
Mabel’s has a cat that likes to lounge in the window on top of a fuzzy, dusty set of Encyclopedia Britannica’s that smells like catnip and cat pee and you get a nose full of it when you open the door.
Mabel’s customers are too polite to point this out.
Because Maybel’s customers are cat people.
Maybel’s bookshelves are packed with books about cooking and romance and how to travel to France on a shoestring budget. There are even books about how to train dogs and collect butterflies and there are books about poetry- how to write it, how to read it and how to understand it too.
Those books smell like catnip and cat pee too, but Mabel’s customers ignore it because Mabel’s customers are cat people so when the occasional cat ( sometimes it’s a black cat, there’s a few Tabby’s and couple of Siamese cats too ) strolls along the top of the shelf and wants to jump down, Mabel’s customers will politely step aside and let them pass because
Mabel’s customers are cat people.
After years and years of standing in front of Mabel’s and getting a noseful of cat pee and catnip and sometimes cat fur too, I decided to go into Mabel’s and shop around.
Because I like books.
I strolled around shelves of books about fairy tales and books about Dungeons and Dragons and books with covers where the Vampires strapped in corsets and there is even a few spinner racks full of bookmarks and another with bookplates jammed into corners where the light switches are, which must make it a chore to switch the lights off and on- on the other hand I can’t seem to remember a time when the lights were ever off at Mabel’s.
I heard a meow and I looked up and then I heard another meow and I looked behind me.
A chubby little Tabby was sitting on a table next to a chair where Mabel’s customers sometimes sat and thumbed through a volume or too that smelled like cat pee and sometimes catnip.
” Hello Mabel’s Cat. ” I said stepping back because, to be honest I’m not a cat person. I think I might be allergic because my nose always tingles when I’m around them and my eyes water a little bit too.
Mabel’s cat jumped off of the table and when it hit the floor, it sent up a poof of cat fur from the floor and when it’s paws where firmly grounded it streatched up and up and in it’s place was a small chubby man with salt and pepper hair.
” You’re not a cat person I see. ” he said.
I crouched and fell gently forwards and when my front paws touched the dusty floorboards I shook my head from side to side, sneezed a little and said, ” Not even a little around the edges.”
I may have barked that and I may have barked it a little to loud but Mabel’s customers would not have pointed that out because even though the customers at Mabel’s are cat people, they’re very polite.