Today’s Autumn Movie Recommendation

I’ve  decided to throw common sense into the toilet and enter the ” Best Vampire Movie ” ever debate.

First of all, off of the table   are” The Lost Boys ” and  ” Interview With a Vampire “. I paid actual money to see those movies and to this day I’m still kicking myself over that. 

Why? You may be asking in utter horror and confusion.

Simple,  Renfield alone ( as brilliantly portrayed by Dwight Frye ) was about a million times scarier and truly  psycho enough to wipe out the Lost Boys and Lestat and his bunch in a Transylvania second.

I was not impressed even in the tiniest bit by those Carpathian lightweights.

However, all was not lost in those wasted hours of my life because the popcorn was super buttery and super scrummy. 

So for your Halloween viewing pleasure  I have three solid recommendations for you to enjoy and I’ve listed some snacks you could  snack on while you watch my favorite vampire movies and Autumn Movie Recommendations.

First of all, it’s not Halloween unless you watch Dracula starring the magnificent Bela Lugosi. I’ve found the experience is enhanced if you eat  shrimp nachos and and drink strawberry margaritas. 

The second movie I’d recommend is the movie that The Lost Boys wanted to be.

It’s  freaky, creative, the the Vampires are sexy and wear cool clothing. It’s the horrifyingly funny ” What We Do In The Shadows. ” 

For this movie I’d suggest partaking in spaghetti and wine as you watch.

That’s an LOL for those of us in the know. If you want to be in the know too watch

” What We Do In The Shadows. “

My third choice isn’t a movie, so consider this an awesome trick among the treats.

My choice is the stand alone tv  spin off of the fantastic ” What We Do In The  Shadows “

There are three scrumptious  seasons of ” What We Do In The Shadows ” for you to watch and as you watch, eat pizza. I’m serious. It’s the kind of show where it’s okay to eat with your hands.

Each episode is superb and there is even a Hellhound that I PROMISE you will love  because everyone loves a dog ( SPOILER ALERT  the the Hellhound has squirrel issues )  There is a truly exceptional and stand out Vampire Hunter who is a descendant of Van Helsing himself.

 The Hunter wears glasses and his name is Guillermo and I’m waiting to see  what happens first. Does Guillermo get his heart’s desire and turn into a Vampire or does he become Nandor The Relentless’s boyfriend.

So there is a lot going on to keep going back for.

Plus in one episode Nadja rips the heart out of Millennial styled Vampire ( hey, the little S#$@T called her “old” aka BOOMER ), tosses it on the floor and tells his upstart friends to pay their dues to the council on time and reminds them to respect their elders.

I love Nadja SO much.

So there you are, I hope you check out my recommendations and if you don’t I suppose you can watch the Lost Boys and Interview With A Vampire and you might almost have as much fun. I’m  positive you can still find copies on VHS or Laser Disc and  that they are readily available at your nearest Goodwill or Ebay.

No I’m not laughing at you.

Who am I kidding.

Yes I am.

But at least I’m not pulling your heart out of your chest like Nadja would.

Halloween Past- Four Heartbeats

Here’s a story I dug up- I  wrote back in 2019

and it’s called

” Four Heartbeats “

October, 2019

I can hear it breathing

I can hear it moving around in it’s nest

it is restless, it is thirsty  and it is so dark  tonight

but

I don’t care, the window is only four heartbeats from where I am hiding right now

and anything- absolutely anything is better then being trapped

so close to that thing  whose face is covered in streams of yellow and green mucus and the remains of it last unfortunate meal.

It  smells like a sewer where legions of rats have lived and died, have I mentioned that?

It’s above my head, close enough for me to reach up and touch, worse I am close enough to hear the sweat dripping from it’s pores.

Stay quiet, stay still says the small voice in my head-that voice is my last shred of sanity. I should listen to it.

 

NO!

 

I don’t care  if it touches me, if it gets close enough for me to smell it

I want out of here.

Four heartbeats and I’m free.

 

I slide, I crawl I cower and then…

 

” Mommy!” the hideous monster above me screams ” I want a drink of water! PLEASE I just want a drink of water!” it screeches again. ” Mommy…I’m so thirsty! I’m dying ’cause I’m so THIRSTY.”

” If only.” I sob. “If only.” 

 

I Slither back under the bed and I let my tail stroke my cheek. I hold my horns for comfort.  I  pray to my Dark Lord for strength and just a little courage  and I wait for that creature called Linzzy to fall asleep and I try to hold my breath for a little while longer.

Please let it close it’s eyes and it’s foul smelling mouth

it has to fall asleep soon-

doesn’t it?