That Hurt My Brain


Drawing a Blank

When was the last time your walked away from a discussion, only to think of The Perfect Comeback hours later? Recreate the scene for us, and use your winning line.


A few years ago I was sitting in this cute little bakery eating my favorite flavored cupcake with few friends when in the middle of our cupcake feast  one of my friend’s phone went dead in the middle of a conversation.

The SIM card failed and died, if I remember correctly.

” We’re going to be seeing more of that now that Mercury is in retrograde.”

I was lost.

” See what?”

” When Mercury is in retrograde it effects electronics.”

My mouth dropped open and I hope it was empty, but it probably was full of cupcake at that point.

I was curious.

” How ?” I asked.

” Mercury literally stops and orbits backwards and it causes all kinds of communication failures- especially in electronics.”

” Mercury can kill SIM cards?”

I was informed that was the case.

Everything I knew about science fell out of my brain.

” I’ll be damned.” I said. ” I did not know that it was possible for a planet to do that. But hey, Mercury has ice near it’s north pole so I guess anything is possible right?”

My friends all laughed at me. ” Where did you hear that? Ice on Mercury? Are you SURE you heard that right?”

” I heard it from NASA. It was on their website.”

There was a lot of doubtful glances and winking being volleyed around the table and I sat there looking like the class dunce.

I wish I could say I thought of something clever to say hours later, months later  but to this day, to this second,  I have not been able to think of anything clever to have sealed the deal on that conversation.

That conversation hurt my brain back then and it hurts it to this day. Worse, I haven’t been able to eat rose flavored cupcakes without thinking of the pain from that ‘science lesson’ to this day.


3 thoughts on “That Hurt My Brain

  1. Don’t even get me going on Mercury in Retrograde! Is she ever in anything else????? As for your friends affecting your judgement of rose flavoured cup cakes!!! Well! Im with the idea of, at the very least, a stern reprimanding style letter. Better still! Have Mercury do a job on their sim cards.

  2. Doesn’t Mercury always rotate backwards in relation to how other planets rotate? I don’t think it stops and changes its rotation, does it? I think they were wrong on all counts and you now know you are right. Let’s send them all a letter. How dare they make you feel stupid????Rascals.

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