Not A Fan

When Spring arrives

and the Earth turns green and comes alive and the Sun warms my face and my bones

chilled to the core

by the Winter and its friends Ice and Snow

I could just pull my eyes out of my


and stamp all over them with my sassy summer sandals


pinch my feet


I hate the Spring.


I hate listening to cats looking for sex all night long.

I hate

the smell of fertilizer that stinks up the air

because everyone turns into

Old McDonald or that little girl in ” The Secret Garden

and they want to make ‘green things grow.’

Piffle! Stinky horrible PIFFLE


The only thing I like about Spring and the Summer

is when people

go outside and worship the Sun

and I can see their skin sort of mummify right there, in slow motion

and the air smells like barbequed food

and if you are really lucky

you can see yellow jackets fly off with pieces of meat from picnic tables.


Spring is a tease

it’s like Summer without the attitude

and it means that the Winter











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