Less World


There are two kinds of Hardware stores, do you know that?

One store is considered ‘ the man store ‘.

The man store has pallet jacks parked at the end of some of the aisles, the stock in most cases are stacked neatly on the shelves in the boxes they were shipped in and out dated fluorescent lights glare down at you from high empty ceilings.

The lady store has food vendors in the entrance way, there are pretty kitchen vignettes up in the front of the store and there isn’t a pallet jack to be seen anywhere. Plus the ceilings are lower and you can’t smell fertilizer anywhere except for the garden center- which unlike the man store which  for the most part only carries outdoor plants and sometimes end caps full of little cactus plants- the lady story carries tons of indoor plants and rocks, marbles and gnomes and plastic woodland animals too and wind chimes. I almost forgot to mention that.

I like the wind chimes because every time the doors open and close it sounds like Tinker Bell is jacked up on speed and flying around with her eyes closed.

Sometimes guys will shop at the Ladies Store and sometimes Women go to the guys store and women act like, hey it’s just a store. I’m hip, I just need a hammer and a bag of animal poo for my vegetable garden- plus check it out, I’m wearing ( fill in the name of the NFL team here ).

When visiting the ladies store  guys will trail around the aisle with the lamps and kitchen vignettes and ask all kinds of techy questions about pipes and wiring , just to remind you- check it. I’m all man, baby.

I think it’s a riot, but I also like sitting on my deck and shooting spit wads at the lamp post at the foot of the path that leads to the woods behind my house because the lamp post only works some of the time and for reason that really irritates  me.

So I’m not so sure that I would recommend going to a store just to see a small example of how men and women are wired differently because I hate shopping myself and I hate ‘just looking around’ even more.

But it is fun in it’s own weird way- however  I would recommend hitting the Ladies Hardware store after visiting the Man Store because there’s probably food and picnic tables and benches to eat at and during the holiday season Kettle Corn is around. . . and the chuckles are free.