Dear Airport People,

If several different gates make announcements at the same time, nobody can hear you.

Passengers who tell stories about how every single flight they’ve taken into Dallas and Chicago being late or grounded by weather are asking me to stitch and glue their lips together.

We KNOW about those HUBS and guess what- your stories are boring! Use sock puppets or do an interpretive dance.

Seriously I’ll pay you.

Hey look, a guy wearing facemask with a “Don’t Tread On Me ” logo…so is that a challenge because I am BORED and writing on my phone is … slow…