The Pumpkin Carver Did It

Hamish was three months old for his first Halloween and at three months he tried to run off with his first pumpkin. It outweighed him by 10 pounds, but that didn’t deter him. By the time I realized what was going on his pumpkin looked like an over used pin cushion and his little puppy teeth were coated with pumpkin skin.

Since then for the last eight years Hamish always gets to his pumpkin and I have become an expert in pumpkin repair and preservation.

This year as per his custom Hamish got a fang into his pumpkin and I patched it and it sat on a shelf for two weeks waiting to be carved.

Yesterday got home from work, I turned the radio on, I got my knives and sharpie pens out, I went and took the pumpkin off  the shelf on my porch and I dropped it.

On my  first day at work in the Funeral Home I was having trouble with the gurney and the Funeral Director who was training me told me if I let a body hit the floor the head was going to splat- I thought about that when Hamish’s pumpkin hit the deck.

I also toyed with the idea of not carving a pumkin and I thought that if anyone asked- and they would- I could just say Hamish killed it and it was too late to get another one.

But in the end, there was no way I was going to blame Hamish for bashing the back of his pumpkin’s head in. I’ve done some low things in my life but  blame my dog for an attempted murder that I committed ? I couldn’t do that to him.

Hamish Macbeth October 31, 2022

So I opened the pumkin up, cleaned it out carved it and reinforced the face with poultry skewers and dental floss.

Then I put it in the freezer over night and took it out before the Trick orTreaters showed up.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if the freezer was going to do much but it did firm the mushy parts up. But I only did that out of habit. And in case you’re curious that X on the front of the pumpkin’s face isn’t a nose, I put little pieces of hard plastic in there to hold the front of the fcae in place becauuse the sides weren’t stable.

Not a pretty sight:

My screaming pumpkin

Hamish knows what I did and he was not amused.

Hamish Macbeth
Halloween 2022

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