RDP Wednesday: Romanticise
I belong to a few on- line Cemetery Explorer’s groups because I like the pictures and I like to keep a list of cemetery names because sometimes I like to use those names for cities in the stories a I write about at Halloween.
You could say it’s an inside joke.
But as I explore with these on- line groups I flashback on the days when Goth was an emerging trend and Gary Oldman’s Dracula added touch of beauty and passion to the world of the living dead and all of the sudden some people decided that Death and Cemeteries are beautiful places that they were sure would give them a sense of peace, belonging and excitement.
Because of the interest in the supernatural that I think was inspired by the movies and music at the time, Cemetery Exploration became a trend. The internet was on the verge of taking over the world, so if you wanted the cemetery experience, you had to get out there and do the leg work. So sure, those feelings I mentioned were valid. Reading about these places is way different then being there and bonding with the environment itself.
There were times when I was strolling around the grounds of the Cemetery I worked at and sometimes I ran into people who would ask me questions after seeing my name badge on my lapel.
They were good, questions, honest questions, challenging questions and I didn’t mind answering them.
The big question?
What did I feel when I was working, they would ask.
I always told the truth, it wasn’t a beautiful or sexy truth.
I said that after the graveside service was over and the family and friends were gone, after the ” Cemetery Engineers ” finished their work, I would stand there and know that I was standing on the loneliest, saddest place in the world.
I said that I thought the wish that the dead would rest in peace wasn’t based on the fear that they would rise from the grave and haunt the living.
I said I thought that the living hoped against hope that the dead would rest in peace because there was no way you could comfort them if they weren’t.
Of course, I was asked a lot about ghosts and though I have seen some weird things in my days, I never saw ghosts at the Cemetery. Sometimes I would say this to one person who would look at me a little skeptically and at other times, if there was more then one person there they would give that look to each other and then sort of heave a sigh and start looking for a way to politely end this non-fruitful part of our conversation but then…
Sometimes, I confessed, when I was alone with the Dead in the embalming room- some were already in their caskets, some were waiting to be laid to rest in them and sometimes this feeling, would sometimes work it’s way into my head.
The people that the Dead used to be were gone- I’ll leave it to the people who knew them or you, Dear Reader, to decide where they went. So that feeling wasn’t coming from them.
What I felt was that something was room with me, with the Dead and it rested on their faces and sometimes it stood behind my shoulder and whispered words into my ear that I couldn’t quite hear.
I never asked who was there, I never tried to figure out what it was saying.
I think one day there will be a time for me to find out.
As we all do.