Ta-Dah! The Year I Saved Christmas

Holidailies 2015

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One year my Dad’s cousin put a Wine Cellar into his basement.

He put wine, lots and lots of wine into it too, much to the delight of my family.

So that Christmas was pretty Merry for the adults.

Shortly after we got to my Aunt’s house every single adult headed down to the Wine Cellar and after a while you could hear the Christmas Spirit all over the house.

After awhile I went downstairs and asked my Mom if I could have a taste. She said no, because per tradition I got a taste of sherry with my desert.

I asked when was dinner.

My Aunt said soon and then everyone laughed.

I went back upstairs and to amuse myself I went into the dinning room- my Aunt set a super elegant table.

I went to each place setting and moved the salad fork and dessert fork. And then while I as at it I figured I might as well take the salt shakers and hide them in the sideboard.

I went out to the living room and pitched half the bourbon balls into the fireplace and I got into the checkers set and  shorted the boards one checker each.

I was only nine years old at the time and I knew those silly pranks were lame.

This, I thought was the worst Christmas ever.

So  after a bit

I  found myself standing at the top of the stairs to the Wine Cellar feeling neglected and left out.

I walked slowly down the steps and hoped an idea would come to me when I got back to the cellar.

And praise be to Baby Jesus it did.

” Are you guys done yet?” I asked.

” Go upstairs.” my Dad said.

 ” Are you sure I can’t have a taste of wine?”

My Mom shot me the evil eye.

” Can someone play me a game of checkers?”

” Yes, but after dinner. ” My Grandpa said. “Now go upstairs.”

” But Grandpa “I said, ” I wanted to say something.”

” What?” he asked

” Um. I forgot.”

” Jesus. Go upstairs Anita.” My Dad halfway yelled.

” I remembered.”

” Remembered what my Dad asked.

” What I was going to say.”

 “What were you going to say?”

I moved to the left of the doorway. ” The Turkey is burning . But I don’t know how much is burning because of all the smoke”

” Why didn’t you say so? ” Everyone ran out of that room like something was on fire.

Which they thought it was.

I could hear them running up the stairs and into the kitchen.

And then I heard someone yelling my name.

I crawled up on one of the chairs and sniffed what was in the wine glass.

Then i poked my finger in and took a taste.

Ugh.

I couldn’t believe anyone would give up a minute of Christmas to drink that nasty stuff.

Good thing they had me  save them all and  set them all back on the track to Christmas.

Minus the Bourbon Balls of course.

costume girl

Just Call Me The Angel of Death

Sorry, I’m Busy

Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone… but didn’t.

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The last time I should have helped someone and didn’t  and will take that  to my grave was when my dog Cerberus got sick.

Her stomach turned and the Vet told me it would cost seven thousand- you read that right $7,000.00 to save her life.

They took checks or credit cards but it was cash up front no matter how you looked at it.

Then I got the speech about how I shouldn’t feel bad if I couldn’t afford it, how she might not pull through and there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again- read- it’s okay to kill your dog Anita because you don’t have the money to save her life.

So I put her down and I watched her die because I didn’t have the money to save her life.

I begged her to forgive me, I promised her she would see Wolfgang ( my cat and her big brother ) when she woke up and then I told her I loved her.

Those were the last words she heard.

I wouldn’t blame her if she went to reward calling bullshit on that.

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I am pretty sure that since then I’ve dropped the ball here and there in my relationships and wasn’t there when I should have been.

But do you know what?

After I killed my dog, I really don’t think anyone in my life has anything to bitch about.

It’s not like you’re going to die if I can’t be there.

In fact, you might want to reconsider calling me at all.