Putting My Feet In The Dirt July Prompt: #19 Niceties Don’t Bring Rainbows
Just as a side note- I was reading this article on ‘show don’ tell’ in writing and I was experimenting with an exercise and I used this prompt. I liked it so much I left it as it was.
Show don’t tell- How she waited on the bridge facing the traffic, exhaust and grit from the cars roaring by forcing her to smile and blush like a bride her hands clenched against her chest until her knuckles were white and as bloodless as her face.
Show don’t tell- how it was always noon when she appeared on the bridge rain or shine, Show how her eyes narrowed as they searched every single face that raced by her . Show how she sometimes she raised her hand and other times she almost raised her hand in the same smooth mechanical motion.
Show don’t tell- how one day a car slid to a stop and how she glided with the wind up to the driver’s side and looked in, her eyes rimmed with grit, her hair tangled with leaves and bits of paper her clothes just a little damp.
Show don’t tell how the woman in the car rolled down the window and asked the women if she needed help, show the confusion and disgust on her face when she looked up and saw the Woman On The Bridge’s up close. Show how she kept her hand on the window button and how she clenched with steering wheel with her other hand and leaned back into the car. Show how she leaned forward again and sat up straight and asked firmly if the Woman on the Bridge needed help.
Show don’t tell, how the Woman On The Bridge pointed out over the railing and said ” My car. It’s stuck down there. Can you help me get it out?”
Show don’t tell how the woman in the car looked down and saw that the woman on the bridge had no feet- and then she realized she did have feet but they were backwards show howthe woman in the car tried to roll her window up, tell how she wanted to drive away but she couldn’t take her eyes away from the woman’s feet- or the empty patch of concrete where they should have been
Show don’t tell how the woman in the car didn’t drive away, didn’t look up until she heard the passenger door open and then close and in just a few heavy heartbeats felt the air in the car wrap itself around her like cold heavy water.
But do tell how in the end the Woman On The Bridge thanked her for taking her to her car.
That is eerily creepy. I would love to see that in a movie, shocking everyone!
It would be great in a movie, but how to pull it off ( snicker ) would be a challenge because you’d have to decide do you want it to creep up on the audience or leap out?
I like creeping. I think it makes the anticipation drag out more so than the leap out stuff.