My Potty Mouth (The Early Years)

Word of The Day Challenge: Schmutzwortsuche

Dear Santa

( I wrote  in 1969 when I was 8 years old )

Please give me a dictionary, a big heavy dictionary with lots of words in it.

Thank You.

Anita Marie


” You don’t believe in Santa ” my Mom said.

” Sometimes I do. Most of the time. You know. When it’s important. ”

I handed my letter to my Mom.

” You can look at it. ” I offered graciously.

She read it and then she looked at me like she wanted to say something.

” Why ” was all she said.

” Because I want to know what words mean.”

And then my brother who was always around nipping at my heels said- because he was of course my Mom’s favorite and his sole purpose in life when he was 8 until about 45 years later was to snitch to our Mom about every rotten thing I did or was about to do or wanted to do.

He was like that angel that sits on your shoulder- only he didn’t sit on my shoulder. He flew all over the place and told anyone with ears what I was doing wrong and why I should be stopped.

” She wants to find more bad words to say to me and if she can’t find them she’s going to hit me with the book. That’s why she wants it to be so big. She wants it to be the biggest book ever so it will hurt. She said so Mom.”

My Mom held my letter out to me. ” Write another one.”

” How’s about I don’t? ”

My Mom nodded. ” Fine. Don’t.”

I didn’t get a dictionary that year. My Mom got me a Barbie Doll.

I hated Barbie Dolls. I only liked stuffed animals. Preferably  ones with metal rods in their backs that held their heads up. If you were to say, use one to smack your pesty brother with- that baby would hurt.

Bad words escaped me then, but even though I was deprived of an educational tool ( looking at YOU Santa  )I have mastered quite a few of them without the help of a dictionary.

Take THAT Mom ho-ho- HA!


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