The Year I Took The Tooth Fairy To The Cleaners

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A few days after I turned six years old, both of my front teeth fell out at the same exact time.

They had been loose for a couple of days and I did have fun wiggling them around in my mouth but the process probably sped up because me and my friend Linda had discovered the fun of jumping out of the our classroom window, hitting the ground and then rolling down the embankment under the window to the playground below.

I had just completed the best roll ever and was waiting for Linda- so to kill time I went to wiggle my loose tooth and found there was a big gap in my mouth.

I told Linda when she rolled down to where I was that my tooth was gone- in fact, two of them were gone.

She asked me to show them to here and she pointed out I was going to get some money.

In fact, I was probably going to make a killing off of two teeth.

Money meant a trip to the corner store and bag full of penny candies.

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world.

It was then that  I realized my teeth were GONE.

I told Linda I didn’t think I swallowed them and I  spit a few times and stuck my finger in my mouth-  relief!

One was stuck to the roof of my mouth and the other was embedded in my lower lip.

I pried the teeth out of the inside of my face and we ran home.

I was screaming for my Mom all the way home and I raced through the house yelling for her- she was having her coffee with some neighbor ladies when I busted into the kitchen and she said,

” What are you … Anita Marie! What did you do to your face?”

I held my teeth out, ” My teeth fell out!”

All of the sudden my Mom and her friends were putting together ice packs and looking into my eyes and asking me if I felt dizzy. They made me lay on the couch and kept asking me if my ears were ringing.

” Mom. Is the tooth fairy gives me a quarter for one tooth- will I get two quarters?”

I could see it- fifty pieces of candy-a pile of candy and all of it mine.

” Yes, Anita Marie, what were you doing when your teeth fell out?”

” Will the tooth fairy still come?”

Mom said she would so I said ” I jumped out a window and rolled down a hill really really fast.”

” You ju- go wash your face. ” I couldn’t tell if my Mom was mad or about to laugh so I figured it was best to scoot away.

I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

My lips were puffy, one side of my face looked bigger then the other and I had a big red mark on the side of my forehead.

I washed my face and when I was done I opened my mouth and  I screamed for my Mom.

I mean I REALLY screamed- I was almost in hysterics.

” Mom look! Look!” I opened my mouth and showed  my wonderful new mouth.

” I’m a Vampire! I’m a Vampire!”


Me- age six and proud to have joined the ranks of the Undead.