It doesn’t matter now who said it or why, but back when it mattered I was told that I bought stupid, meaningless Christmas presents and that the trees I picked out were wrong too.
Oh- and my decorations were ugly.
So every year I bought gift cards- to play it safe and I put up a tree and decorated it and in then I grit my teeth and ignored it until the 26th.
On that day I pull the thing down an toss the ornaments into a bucket -they’re the unbreakable plastic ones and I pull the tree apart ( its fake and come away in three parts) and I sort of spin the segments and unwind the lights into little ready to unwind balls of lights and toss the entire kit and kaboodle into the storage closet.
The feeling I have is split between elation and relief- neither one seems appropriate.
So for my own reasons I’m trying to improve my attitude about the Christmas season because I really did come to absolutely hate it.
I’ve taken to doing things like reading ghost stories and looking for Krampus decorations. I listen to hours of Christmas music because nobody has managed to ruin that for me. I even send out real Christmas cards.
Now when I put up my tree I sort of do it in stages- first night I put the lights on and on the second I decorate it.
I wanted to make it fun again and splitting the task keeps it from feeling like a task and I don’t get overwhelmed by those nasty shadows from Christmas past.
When I think about my trees now, I remember what shows I was watching- and they are good ones- and I have pictures of Hamish Macbeth and my ugly, badly decorated tree that I actually had fun working on.
I’m hoping that I”ll have a year when I will realize that it’s ‘that time of the year’ and be excited about it. Being that Christmas is a pretty great thing to take part in, I’m willing to work on that.
It is worth it.
Photo A.M. Moscoso