Title: Fashion Plate (Ball Dress)
Creator: Rudolph Ackermann

When I was a little kid

I desperately wanted to fit in

I wanted to wear what the other girls wore

I wanted to play with the same kinds of toys that the kids  with

I wanted to ride a bike with yellow streamers and rollerskate and have a shag haircut.


Oh. My. God.

I desperatley wanted to be snazzy.


I wanted to sparkle and shine like the neighborhood girls and the girls on tv.

But I never quite got it right.


When it came to crunch time

I got the wrong haircut, asked for the wrong toys, and the clothes I wore

never looked right on me and I never came close to looking like the girls I knew or saw

on tv.


This is what I did manage-even though I was snazzless.


I made friends with the neighborlady whose father, I learned many years later,

had been an executioner.

I used to take tea with her and we watched Dark Shadows as soon as I got home from

school ( I was eight ).

I didn’t ride the bike with the streamers flowing from the handlebars

but 6 years after learning to ride bikes, I learned to ride dirt bikes ( thanks Darrin ) just

before I turned 13.

By the time I was in highschool I had the wrong hairstyle, wore the wrong clothes, I was

dateless until I graduated from highschool


I was not snazzy by a long shot.


On the other hand,  I played lead guitar in rocks bands, I won more writing contests

then I lost I wore a

spiffy leather jacket and I was on the Honor Roll.


At  the end of the day, I will be the first to say I wan’t a bit snazzy but I think I was


just maybe

I made it close to being the

Cat’s Pajamas.

3 thoughts on “Snazzless

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