In A Word

This Is Your Life

If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover. 


My life in a book?

Oh. Hell to the NO.

Wait. Wait. I have it…Not unless…. it was in comic book form- excuse me graphic novel ( eye roll)

Hey now. My life would make a great  graphic novel.

All the stupid things I’ve done, all of the drama and comedy and freaks of nature that have strolled into my life and turned it upside down and sideways and kicked it to the curb and back.

It wouldn’t make great literature but it would be the Bees Knees in pictures.

I think my author ( or would it be artist?) would be some sort of social outcast that eats their dinner at McDonald’s and breakfasts at places like AM/PM or 7-11 and for lunch they’d eat whatever was in their backpack- which was full of stuff like pens and Twinkies and bottled water.

In the comic book of my life I hope my author would take pity on me and make me taller and pretty and neglect to mention I have a bad knee and walk like a Pirate with a peg leg.

And that thing I did when I was 13. Give that one a miss. It was overrated in my life history. Plus you can’t make Super Glue and burned noodles a funny or interesting story no matter how hard you try.

Only saying because I’ve tried.

All you’ll get for repeating that story are people who will be afraid to let you near their noodles for the rest of your life.

Oh and for fun at least once a day I put up a post about the Uranus on my Facebook wall because people say they pronounce it the giggle free way, but they’re thinking exactly they way you’re probably hearing it in your head right now.

That’s how I have fun with social media.

Ok. I’ve reconsidered. Go ahead. Put my life on paper-but remember make the pictures snazzy, I hate eff words and I’m going to read the ending first.

If I like it I’ll pass it around.

If I don’t, who cares? Nobody believes what they read anymore unless it involves Aliens From Outer space. That poor little book would just die a lonely painful death,

So make it good, make it funny and to my author, just a word of advice. You might want to consider a UFO or two.


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